Eleven Posted August 30, 2017 Report Share Posted August 30, 2017 (edited) You know how hard it is to break yourself from saying "that's so gay!"? Or "what are you, retarded?" I'm working on not being such an ignorant ######. It's an uphill battle. I used the "f word" (not to describe homosexuals, just as a general insult) until a close friend came out and explained to me that he had found it hurtful. I was so angry and ashamed that I had hurt him. I swear it was the last time I cried as a grownup until my fiancee was diagnosed. This was probably about 17 or 18 years ago. I slip on "retard" now and then, like maybe a couple times a year. I've been trying to eliminate it from my vocabulary for about a decade. Today, "retarded" seems to be supplanted by "autistic," because "retarded" is a bad word. Having never learned to use "autistic" as an insult, that's easy to avoid for me (plus I have friends who are and friends with kids who are), but I'll bet there's a generation younger than me that's going to grow up with that one, and have to learn the same lessons we have learned or are learning. None of us are perfect. (Well, except inkman; he's dreamy.) But we never should let perfect be the enemy of good; we always should just strive to be the best humans we can be. EDIT: A word. Edited August 30, 2017 by Eleven Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weave Posted August 30, 2017 Report Share Posted August 30, 2017 (edited) I think that ostracizing those that are different IS the default path. Not a fully fleshed out thought here so don't flame it too badly. I liken it to animals that isolate and destroy those that are different within their brood. It is thought to be a survival of the species reflex action. I think that those that ostracize differences in humans are acting in a similar way, instinctual rather than thoughtful or logical, which would explain why it is so difficult to change that behavior. And our various social organizations reinforce those actions unfortunately. As for children..... they are very good at identifying those that are different and treating them cruelly. I dont think they start late, or need parental guidance to reinforce the behavior. If anything, they need parental reinforcement to set that behavior aside and develop more refined ones. Put one white child in a room with one black child and they will find something to bond over. Change that to 10 white kirs and one black one and the black child will be isolated. Same if the races were reversed. Edited August 30, 2017 by We've Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattPie Posted August 31, 2017 Report Share Posted August 31, 2017 I think that ostracizing those that are different IS the default path. Not a fully fleshed out thought here so don't flame it too badly. I liken it to animals that isolate and destroy those that are different within their brood. It is thought to be a survival of the species reflex action. I think that those that ostracize differences in humans are acting in a similar way, instinctual rather than thoughtful or logical, which would explain why it is so difficult to change that behavior. And our various social organizations reinforce those actions unfortunately. As for children..... they are very good at identifying those that are different and treating them cruelly. I dont think they start late, or need parental guidance to reinforce the behavior. If anything, they need parental reinforcement to set that behavior aside and develop more refined ones. Put one white child in a room with one black child and they will find something to bond over. Change that to 10 white kirs and one black one and the black child will be isolated. Same if the races were reversed. There is evolutionary pressure to be afraid of what different than you; different means "not you" and "not you" isn't going to help you survive as they have the other "not youse" to look out for. It is one of those things that parents need to steer their kids out of; much like "don't beat someone up and steal their food". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyldnwoody44 Posted August 31, 2017 Report Share Posted August 31, 2017 Today was a fun day.... People suck.... Patient came in S/P surgery 2 months ago, asked if she could be pregnant (hubby was only one in room, she was in potty) he said no, no sex since surgery..... What the hell, ill get an hcg anyways.... Positive, ultrasound..... Yes, baby on board.... Soon to be a divorce as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WildCard Posted August 31, 2017 Report Share Posted August 31, 2017 Today was a fun day.... People suck.... Patient came in S/P surgery 2 months ago, asked if she could be pregnant (hubby was only one in room, she was in potty) he said no, no sex since surgery..... What the hell, ill get an hcg anyways.... Positive, ultrasound..... Yes, baby on board.... Soon to be a divorce as well. I could not do your job. I lose my mind dealing with our support reps all day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winston Posted August 31, 2017 Report Share Posted August 31, 2017 I've mentioned before that I work for the Boy Scouts.. most of the year I'm doing boring fundraising and administrative stuff. But in the fall, I get to go into the schools and try to recruit kids. It's my favorite part of the job. Anyways, my general observations: K and 1st grade don't care about any differences. They seem to interchangeably be friends with everyone. By 2nd and 3rd, they still don't acknowledge any racial/religious/SES/etc differences. But now, god forbid a girl sit at the boy table (this makes my job much easier, actually). By 4th grade, I think that's when they start to become a little more "socially aware." In a bad way. They start dividing themselves a little more. Sometimes they're too cool to have a visitor sit with them at lunch. K and 1st grade are so entertaining to talk to. The questions they ask are beyond hilarious, and you literally cannot say anything without them relating it to some absurd story that they MUST tell you. The other day, a little girl looked me up and down twice, then proclaimed, "You're not a Boy Scout. You're a Mannnn Scout." If she wasn't in 1st grade, I might have thought she was hitting on me :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spndnchz Posted August 31, 2017 Report Share Posted August 31, 2017 I just don't comment. I just do. #hashtag #getoffurhastag #dosomething Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shrader Posted August 31, 2017 Report Share Posted August 31, 2017 I used the "f word" (not to describe homosexuals, just as a general insult) until a close friend came out and explained to me that he had found it hurtful. I was so angry and ashamed that I had hurt him. I swear it was the last time I cried as a grownup until my fiancee was diagnosed. This was probably about 17 or 18 years ago. I slip on "retard" now and then, like maybe a couple times a year. I've been trying to eliminate it from my vocabulary for about a decade. Today, "retarded" seems to be supplanted by "autistic," because "retarded" is a bad word. Having never learned to use "autistic" as an insult, that's easy to avoid for me (plus I have friends who are and friends with kids who are), but I'll bet there's a generation younger than me that's going to grow up with that one, and have to learn the same lessons we have learned or are learning. None of us are perfect. (Well, except inkman; he's dreamy.) But we never should let perfect be the enemy of good; we always should just strive to be the best humans we can be. EDIT: A word. A couple years back I was on a subway train in Boston with my wife and her mother. These college girls across from us were talking and one randomly said "that's retarded". My MiL immediately says to her "that's offensive, I had a cousin who was retarded". It took all the effort in the world to not break out into laughter, one because who the hell calls out strangers like that, and two because it was the perfect example of how these things that people find offensive change over the years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nfreeman Posted August 31, 2017 Report Share Posted August 31, 2017 FWIW, my 17-year-old son and his meathead friends -- most of whom come from highly PC families and all of whom live in a highly PC community -- call each other "retards" all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darksabre Posted August 31, 2017 Report Share Posted August 31, 2017 FWIW, my 17-year-old son and his meathead friends -- most of whom come from highly PC families and all of whom live in a highly PC community -- call each other "retards" all the time. A behavior that perhaps aught to be addressed. Would your son and co be interested in volunteering at a group home? Or perhaps the Special Olympics? The Special Olympics has events year round that may offer volunteer experience and that may look good on college applications or resumes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randall Flagg Posted August 31, 2017 Report Share Posted August 31, 2017 I used the "f word" (not to describe homosexuals, just as a general insult) until a close friend came out and explained to me that he had found it hurtful. I was so angry and ashamed that I had hurt him. I swear it was the last time I cried as a grownup until my fiancee was diagnosed. This was probably about 17 or 18 years ago. My friends and I used that word all the time too, in the same way. I've successfully ditched it since HS ended. FWIW, my 17-year-old son and his meathead friends -- most of whom come from highly PC families and all of whom live in a highly PC community -- call each other "retards" all the time. However, when I'm with the boys at a bonfire I still let this one slip, as do they. Not proud of it. Definitely not from a PC area or family though (I thought I was until I looked closer at places like college campuses - I had no idea until recently how next-level that stuff has become. Not to claim that's a good or bad thing.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
josie Posted August 31, 2017 Report Share Posted August 31, 2017 My friends and I used that word all the time too, in the same way. I've successfully ditched it since HS ended. However, when I'm with the boys at a bonfire I still let this one slip, as do they. Not proud of it. Definitely not from a PC area or family though (I thought I was until I looked closer at places like college campuses - I had no idea until recently how next-level that stuff has become. Not to claim that's a good or bad thing.) Yep, got a few as well. Working on it. I used to be the chick who could hang with the football team or similarly macho group and crack dirty/offensive jokes that would make them bust a gut. Well, I still can but... I don't. Not as much, anyways. I'm still not above some lowbrow sexual humor or snarky chirping. And I look back on that girl and go, immature, and definitely trying to make up for lack of conventional hotness by being the "cool bro chick" instead. Cringe. Then I went through some in college and the sex jokes lost their appeal. Then I met/got to know all different walks of life, and most of the other jokes lost their shine as well. Humor's a great coping mechanism, but sometimes it's just irresponsible. Mentioned upthread was calling guys "pu$$ies" and purse/women jokes... yeah... those always did bother me. I try not to be the "annoying bonerkiller sjw" at sporting events but those always earn eyerolls from me. Get creative with your insults. You can do so so much better, and be more scathing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WildCard Posted August 31, 2017 Report Share Posted August 31, 2017 So I downloaded UTorrent and now my cable company keeps threatening me because people are seeding off an album I downloaded. So I uninstalled Utorrent. No problem, right? Now I'm still getting the emails from the cable company. Is there some sort of hidden maleware / software UTorrent has that I need to remove? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shrader Posted August 31, 2017 Report Share Posted August 31, 2017 So I downloaded UTorrent and now my cable company keeps threatening me because people are seeding off an album I downloaded. So I uninstalled Utorrent. No problem, right? Now I'm still getting the emails from the cable company. Is there some sort of hidden maleware / software UTorrent has that I need to remove? Who was it that I told to drop their laptop into a bucket of water? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WildCard Posted August 31, 2017 Report Share Posted August 31, 2017 Who was it that I told to drop their laptop into a bucket of water? Flagg IIRC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattPie Posted August 31, 2017 Report Share Posted August 31, 2017 (edited) So I downloaded UTorrent and now my cable company keeps threatening me because people are seeding off an album I downloaded. So I uninstalled Utorrent. No problem, right? Now I'm still getting the emails from the cable company. Is there some sort of hidden maleware / software UTorrent has that I need to remove? It's possible. I'd go download Wireshark and do a packet capture to see what's going out over the wire, that will be fairly definitive. Plus, you're a software person right? Wireshark may be one of *the* most important tools for diagnosing network issues with software. Apps and logs lie, the wire doesn't. PM me and I can help some if needed. Edit: Also, keep an eye on https://www.packtpub.com/packt/offers/free-learning. They offer free ebooks daily, a couple of which are Wireshark-related, and almost all of them are software development themed. Edited August 31, 2017 by MattPie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That Aud Smell Posted August 31, 2017 Report Share Posted August 31, 2017 FWIW, my 17-year-old son and his meathead friends -- most of whom come from highly PC families and all of whom live in a highly PC community -- call each other "retards" all the time. That is regrettable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nfreeman Posted August 31, 2017 Report Share Posted August 31, 2017 A behavior that perhaps aught to be addressed. Would your son and co be interested in volunteering at a group home? Or perhaps the Special Olympics? The Special Olympics has events year round that may offer volunteer experience and that may look good on college applications or resumes. My friends and I used that word all the time too, in the same way. I've successfully ditched it since HS ended. However, when I'm with the boys at a bonfire I still let this one slip, as do they. Not proud of it. Definitely not from a PC area or family though (I thought I was until I looked closer at places like college campuses - I had no idea until recently how next-level that stuff has become. Not to claim that's a good or bad thing.) That is regrettable. I'm not saying it's OK. (And certainly I'm inclined to defend my kid and his friends, who are all good kids.) I mentioned it mostly to point out that while the racial/ethnic/sexual orientation slur/insults of prior generations seem to have faded from usage, this one lives on. So I downloaded UTorrent and now my cable company keeps threatening me because people are seeding off an album I downloaded. So I uninstalled Utorrent. No problem, right? Now I'm still getting the emails from the cable company. Is there some sort of hidden maleware / software UTorrent has that I need to remove? Whenever my computer acts funky, my tech support guy recommends downloading the free malware detector from malwarebytes.com and running a full scan. It's generally pretty effective. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
biodork Posted September 1, 2017 Report Share Posted September 1, 2017 I'd forgotten to post it at the time, but a few days ago while going through my neighborhood, I passed a car that had the windows down and the stereo loudly playing the theme song from Married With Children. :huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ogre Posted September 1, 2017 Report Share Posted September 1, 2017 What the F is it with today? Just got home from the ER. I take 3 bites into dinner and boom! I'm choking! I run to the sink and I don't know what I did but it's out enough I can breathe a little but it's still there so I take a slug of water. Bad friggin idea. I'm choking all over again. This time I'm making noise and gurgling and that gets my wife's attention. The third time I cried "choking" she figured out what I was saying. I refused to go to the hospital though because I'm a moron. I tried stuffing my finger down my throat 6 or 7 times but I couldn't get it to move and I was just making things worse. An hour later as I'm turning purple I agree to go. The lady at the desk was freaking out a bit by my appearance but as they were all hustling about what was in my throat started to move and clear out. They kept me a half hour to make sure I was ok. I am. I'm rattled a bit and my throats hurts like hell......I'm breathing. I'm going to bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
biodork Posted September 1, 2017 Report Share Posted September 1, 2017 What the F is it with today? Just got home from the ER. I take 3 bites into dinner and boom! I'm choking! I run to the sink and I don't know what I did but it's out enough I can breathe a little but it's still there so I take a slug of water. Bad friggin idea. I'm choking all over again. This time I'm making noise and gurgling and that gets my wife's attention. The third time I cried "choking" she figured out what I was saying. I refused to go to the hospital though because I'm a moron. I tried stuffing my finger down my throat 6 or 7 times but I couldn't get it to move and I was just making things worse. An hour later as I'm turning purple I agree to go. The lady at the desk was freaking out a bit by my appearance but as they were all hustling about what was in my throat started to move and clear out. They kept me a half hour to make sure I was ok. I am. I'm rattled a bit and my throats hurts like hell......I'm breathing. I'm going to bed. Yikes, iT... glad you're okay!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ogre Posted September 1, 2017 Report Share Posted September 1, 2017 Yikes, iT... glad you're okay!! We are both sitting in the tub nervously giggling about the whole thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyldnwoody44 Posted September 1, 2017 Report Share Posted September 1, 2017 Dude!!! Sounds like you have esophageal motility disorder or strictures.... Did they do a laryngoscope? Has this happened before and is it with any particular foods?! I need to know lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
biodork Posted September 1, 2017 Report Share Posted September 1, 2017 Dude!!! Sounds like you have esophageal motility disorder or strictures.... Did they do a laryngoscope? Has this happened before and is it with any particular foods?! I need to know lol My friend's father in law has a problem where his epiglottis doesn't seal properly and he ends up aspirating small amounts food and drink into his lungs, but in his case he doesn't feel like he's choking, he's just prone to lower respiratory infections. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darksabre Posted September 1, 2017 Report Share Posted September 1, 2017 What the F is it with today? Just got home from the ER. I take 3 bites into dinner and boom! I'm choking! I run to the sink and I don't know what I did but it's out enough I can breathe a little but it's still there so I take a slug of water. Bad friggin idea. I'm choking all over again. This time I'm making noise and gurgling and that gets my wife's attention. The third time I cried "choking" she figured out what I was saying. I refused to go to the hospital though because I'm a moron. I tried stuffing my finger down my throat 6 or 7 times but I couldn't get it to move and I was just making things worse. An hour later as I'm turning purple I agree to go. The lady at the desk was freaking out a bit by my appearance but as they were all hustling about what was in my throat started to move and clear out. They kept me a half hour to make sure I was ok. I am. I'm rattled a bit and my throats hurts like hell......I'm breathing. I'm going to bed. My buddy Pat has this problem. Get it looked at. You might need surgery, but it's better than choking to death. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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