Jump to content

GDT: Colorado @ Buffalo, 12:30 pm est, 2-14-2016

WildCard

By WildCard
in The Aud Club

 Share

Recommended Posts

WildCard Hall of Famer

WildCard

Posted
Posted (edited)

You know, there's just certain acts of decency, and unspoken manner of living if you will, that's everyone should abide by. Bring your own beer; don't block intersection; call your parents on their birthdays; wear headphones if you want to listen to music in public, you ###### pos, Greg; don't wear camo to a funeral; get drunk for weddings and funerals; fill the tank up if you borrow my car; if I'm driving, shut the ###### up, and don't touch my radio; return the favor; say please, thank you, and be a gentleman; you don't take videos at bachelor parties, you ######; spare a square. And, last but not least, life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it. 
 
In honor of VD, we all know there's this same code for dating. Put your phone away. Be enthusiastic. Reach for the check. Don't bring up your exes. And for the love of ######, always DENNIS. Still, if all that goes well, maybe you get a 2nd, and a 3rd date, and before you know it, you're getting married to the love of your life .Sure, it started off with a massive bang, and things were great.
 
 But, let's just say for a second, that it all just goes terribly, terribly wrong, and you just can't help yourself. Huge work party where you might get the most important promotion of your career? She brings a fog machine. That awesome puppy you waited 14, excruciating days to finally fall in your lap? Too bad, that puppy hates you, and it's because she's a cold, frigid bitch. But, lo! She warms up, starts looking good again (and I mean gooooooddd), and she goes out and buys that puppy for you. You think to yourself, "How could I not love this person?" You love that puppy, and boy does that thing love you. Hell, even your kids love it. The puppy's so good, it gets your kid their first romance. But, for no reason, your wife goes and kicks the poor girl right in the leg. "So what", you say, romances come and go. Sure enough, that puppy goes out and gets 3, 3!, more hot young things for your kid, and you are just grinning from cheek to cheek. After the first one, you're not too worried, that was a fluke. Then you wife opens her loud mouth, and pisses of the 2nd one. No dice. For the 3rd one she just slammed the door right in the poor kids face. The 4th one? Where your kid finally gets to the 2nd date, and things are looking great? Well, she shits all over that too.
 
Now, you have to be asking yourself at this point: Why, dear God, why?!? Why do I possibly keep coming back to her?!? I work all day, every day, and she calls and calls and calls, I can't escape her! But, here's the thing, for no rational reason whatsoever, I don't want to. I know that somewhere down the road, she'll finally be everything I knew she was.
 
So, you trudge on. You sit her down, and tell her, "Listen, things have been rough lately. Your Shrekish behavior is scaring away all of Junior's romances. Now, I know it's your swamp and no, I don't think your sister is prettier than you. But still, how about, next time Junior brings home a date, you just leave her alone, alright?"
 
So, you go and get a new puppy to help Junior out. A shelter puppy, it's some Easter European breed, but the thing has spunk, so you take it home. Boy, does Junior, and his date, love this puppy. Hell, Junior's just the sideshow here, the puppy is single-handedly bringing this home! Your excited, you can't hold it in. This is it, you think to yourself. But, come on folks, we all know she's out there somewhere. And with the roar of some inbred Cowboy, she comes in and judo kicks Junior's date right in the ###### jaw; left foot just slicing away cartilage and facial structures.
 
###### it, you're done. The first puppy died, and the 2nd one has left. There is nothing, no hope. Junior sulks for the next decade or so, with no hope in site. Sure, he gets some mild success, a phone call here and there, but every time you know your wife is out there, ready to cut the phone lines. 
 
But....what's this? A new puppy? A...a better, puppy? Could it be? No, it's not one, it's 2! It's 3!. It's a god damned ###### smorgasboard of puppies! You've become the ###### ASPCA without that annoying Sara McCocklin! Sure, these puppies are untrained; they ###### on the rug, pee on the coach, and ultimately disappoint you almost every time you watch them. But god dammit, there yours. Your wife comes in, she sees these puppies, and, as she turns on the game and pours you a nice, tall beer, she tells you she won't screw the pooch this time. You look up into her eyes, and realize you just can't quit her then she gives the worlds greatest slow-blow and it's ###### nice
 
Game Preview

STATS:
All Stats Buffalo @ Colorado (2-1 loss)
All Team Rankings
Team Comparison Chart

Saturday Practice report

Bailey also, for the second game in a row, had a chance to net his first career goal on a 1-on-1 opportunity with the goaltender thanks to a feed from Eichel in the slot. Bylsma said he would've liked to see Bailey use his shot, but instead the rookie pulled a move and tried to slide the puck in at the post.

"It was real close again," Bailey said. "I'm getting a lot of chances so I've just got to capitalize on the chances I get."

 

 

Forwards:

 

9 Evander Kane – 90 Ryan O'Reilly – 23 Sam Reinhart

 

88 Jamie McGinn – 15 Jack Eichel – 56 Justin Bailey

 

82 Marcus Foligno – 28 Zemgus Girgensons – 12 Brian Gionta

 

44 Nicolas Deslauriers – 17 David Legwand – 26 Matt Moulson

 

 

Defensemen:

 

4 Josh Gorges, 55 Rasmus Ristolainen,

 

29 Jake McCabe, 47 Zach Bogosian,

 

3 Mark Pysyk, 46 Cody Franson,

 

6 Mike Weber, 25 Carlo Colaiacovo

 

Goalies:

40 Robin Lehner
31 Chad Johnson

 

 

8282221.jpg

 

Edited by WildCard
Link to comment
Share on other sites
MODO Hockey Second Liner

MODO Hockey

Posted
Posted

You know, there's just certain acts of decency, and unspoken manner of living if you will, that's everyone should abide by. Bring your own beer; don't block intersection; call your parents on their birthdays; wear headphones if you want to listen to music in public, you ###### pos, Greg; don't wear camo to a funeral; get drunk for weddings and funerals; fill the tank up if you borrow my car; if I'm driving, shut the ###### up, and don't touch my radio; return the favor; say please, thank you, and be a gentleman; you don't take videos at bachelor parties, you ######; spare a square. And, last but not least, life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it. 

 

In honor of VD, we all know there's this same code for dating. Put your phone away. Be enthusiastic. Reach for the check. Don't bring up your exes. And for the love of ######, always DENNIS. Still, if all that goes well, maybe you get a 2nd, and a 3rd date, and before you know it, you're getting married to the love of your life .Sure, it started off with a massive bang, and things were great.

 

 But, let's just say for a second, that it all just goes terribly, terribly wrong, and you just can't help yourself. Huge work party where you might get the most important promotion of your career? She brings a fog machine. That awesome puppy you waited 14, excruciating days to finally fall in your lap? Too bad, that puppy hates you, and it's because she's a cold, frigid bitch. But, lo! She warms up, starts looking good again (and I mean gooooooddd), and she goes out and buys that puppy for you. You think to yourself, "How could I not love this person?" You love that puppy, and boy does that thing love you. Hell, even your kids love it. The puppy's so good, it gets your kid their first romance. But, for no reason, your wife goes and kicks the poor girl right in the leg. "So what", you say, romances come and go. Sure enough, that puppy goes out and gets 3, 3!, more hot young things for your kid, and you are just grinning from cheek to cheek. After the first one, you're not too worried, that was a fluke. Then you wife opens her loud mouth, and pisses of the 2nd one. No dice. For the 3rd one she just slammed the door right in the poor kids face. The 4th one? Where your kid finally gets to the 2nd date, and things are looking great? Well, she shits all over that too.

 

Now, you have to be asking yourself at this point: Why, dear God, why?!? Why do I possibly keep coming back to her?!? I work all day, every day, and she calls and calls and calls, I can't escape her! But, here's the thing, for no rational reason whatsoever, I don't want to. I know that somewhere down the road, she'll finally be everything I knew she was.

 

So, you trudge on. You sit her down, and tell her, "Listen, things have been rough lately. Your Shrekish behavior is scaring away all of Junior's romances. Now, I know it's your swamp and no, I don't think your sister is prettier than you. But still, how about, next time Junior brings home a date, you just leave her alone, alright?"

 

So, you go and get a new puppy to help Junior out. A shelter puppy, it's some Easter European breed, but the thing has spunk, so you take it home. Boy, does Junior, and his date, love this puppy. Hell, Junior's just the sideshow here, the puppy is single-handedly bringing this home! Your excited, you can't hold it in. This is it, you think to yourself. But, come on folks, we all know she's out there somewhere. And with the roar of some inbred Cowboy, she comes in and judo kicks Junior's date right in the ###### jaw; left foot just slicing away cartilage and facial structures.

 

###### it, you're done. The first puppy died, and the 2nd one has left. There is nothing, no hope. Junior sulks for the next decade or so, with no hope in site. Sure, he gets some mild success, a phone call here and there, but every time you know your wife is out there, ready to cut the phone lines. 

 

But....what's this? A new puppy? A...a better, puppy? Could it be? No, it's not one, it's 2! It's 3!. It's a god damned ###### smorgasboard of puppies! You've become the ###### ASPCA without that annoying Sara McCocklin! Sure, these puppies are untrained; they ###### on the rug, pee on the coach, and ultimately disappoint you almost every time you watch them. But god dammit, there yours. Your wife comes in, she sees these puppies, and, as she turns on the game and pours you a nice, tall beer, she tells you she won't screw the pooch this time. You look up into her eyes, and realize you just can't quit her then she gives the worlds greatest slow-blow and it's ###### nice

 

Game Preview

 

STATS:

All Stats Buffalo @ Colorado (2-1 loss)

All Team Rankings

Team Comparison Chart

 

Saturday Practice report

 

 

Forwards:

 

9 Evander Kane – 90 Ryan O'Reilly – 23 Sam Reinhart

 

88 Jamie McGinn – 15 Jack Eichel – 56 Justin Bailey

 

82 Marcus Foligno – 28 Zemgus Girgensons – 12 Brian Gionta

 

44 Nicolas Deslauriers – 17 David Legwand/ 84 Phil Varone – 26 Matt Moulson

 

 

Defensemen:

 

4 Josh Gorges, 55 Rasmus Ristolainen,

 

29 Jake McCabe, 47 Zach Bogosian,

 

25 Carlo Colaiacovo, 46 Cody Franson,

 

6 Mike Weber, 3 Mark Pysyk

 

Goalies:

40 Robin Lehner

31 Chad Johnson

 

 

8282221.jpg

 

 

 

Man, 

 

You nailed it with this post.

Laugh of the day, awesome!!  :w00t:   :lol:  :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites
woods-racer First Liner

woods-racer

Posted
Posted (edited)

I'm still trying to process the first post, I may never fully understand what just happened

 

That was like a Yuri / George Carlin collaboration.

 

I read it twice.

 

And a  :worthy: to WC!

Anybody else notice that Mike Weber is a +3?

 

He is a very reliable, stay at home, keep it simple bottom three defense-man that DD seems to be using wisely.

Edited by Woods-Racer
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Neo First Liner

Neo

Posted
Posted (edited)

I'm still trying to process the first post, I may never fully understand what just happened

Well, it's fundamentally WildCard, which is awesome sauce, but I believe he channeled himself some Yuri.

 

WC ... wonderful work. You bring gifts ...

 

 

To: Mr. Woods ... we both tasted a pinch of Yuri! Just caught your post ...

Edited by N'eo
Link to comment
Share on other sites
WildCard Hall of Famer

WildCard

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Guys, I think WC was drunk when he wrote that. And probably currently single. No, definitely single.

 

But he's sooooooo right about the calling. Leave me alone sometimes!

Spot on  :lol:  :lol:

 

Well, Pysyk is back, and Lehner starts

Girgensons & Pysyk will both be in the lineup today, Coach Bylsma says; Lehner starts in goal. #COLvsBUF

Link to comment
Share on other sites
This topic is OLD. A NEW topic should be started unless there is a VERY SPECIFIC REASON to revive this one.

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...