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(OT) Scoping the Colon: The Reaming of PASabreFan


PASabreFan

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The Pre-emptive Burrito is brilliant. If you're going to have explosive diarrhea, why not?

 

I start the prep at noon tomorrow (four Dulcolax), then hit the jug of chilled Gatorade/Miralax powder starting at 2. The "action" is predicted to start, according to the instructions, between 2 and 3 o'clock.

 

Maybe we have can a pool...

 

So your bowels will be exploding around the same time my daughter is born. Wonderful.

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The Pre-emptive Burrito is brilliant. If you're going to have explosive diarrhea, why not?

 

I start the prep at noon tomorrow (four Dulcolax), then hit the jug of chilled Gatorade/Miralax powder starting at 2. The "action" is predicted to start, according to the instructions, between 2 and 3 o'clock.

 

Maybe we have can a pool...

 

I'll set the over/under at 2:30.

 

 

I'm taking the under.

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Kind of like the "Craptacular" they did on Stern a few years ago. Can we get an impartial volunteer to weigh PA's movements?

 

The staff took bets on High Pitch Eric's bowel movements over 24 hours. Total number of movements, weight of individual movements, total weight over the 24 hours, timing of movements and on and on. I know thousands of dollars exchanged hands, but the highlight was Artie Lange winning the "over" in total weight of movements at the final hour. I think he was the only one who took over 3.5 lbs and the last ###### in the 23rd hour put him over the top. Good stuff.

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Kind of like the "Craptacular" they did on Stern a few years ago. Can we get an impartial volunteer to weigh PA's movements?

 

The staff took bets on High Pitch Eric's bowel movements over 24 hours. Total number of movements, weight of individual movements, total weight over the 24 hours, timing of movements and on and on. I know thousands of dollars exchanged hands, but the highlight was Artie Lange winning the "over" in total weight of movements at the final hour. I think he was the only one who took over 3.5 lbs and the last ###### in the 23rd hour put him over the top. Good stuff.

 

I don't want to know how the weighing process was handled.

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Full disclosure: I took the four Dulcolax 15 minutes late.

 

PA another quick tip. Get some baby wipes to soothe the effected area.

 

 

I will take the over, but just barely.

 

Thanks. I got some. But I got the ones you can't flush. So I guess to add to the beauty of the day will be a garbage bag full of nasty wipes.

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Godspeed, sir.

 

haha thanks. I'm not going into space.

 

So there's a bit of an issue with insurance. My insurance will cover 90% of a Propofol sedation, which involves having to have an anesthesiologist around. I'd pay $200+ out of pocket. Insurance will fully cover "conscious sedation." I may or may not have a choice come tomorrow. As a neurotic control freak I don't like the idea of being totally knocked out. I'm hearing that conscious sedation is just as good. It's a sedative and pain med and although you might remain awake, you don't remember the procedure.

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haha thanks. I'm not going into space.

 

So there's a bit of an issue with insurance. My insurance will cover 90% of a Propofol sedation, which involves having to have an anesthesiologist around. I'd pay $200+ out of pocket. Insurance will fully cover "conscious sedation." I may or may not have a choice come tomorrow. As a neurotic control freak I don't like the idea of being totally knocked out. I'm hearing that conscious sedation is just as good. It's a sedative and pain med and although you might remain awake, you don't remember the procedure.

 

If it means the same thing as when I've had tooth extractions, you will not be conscious during "conscious sedation" (but there will be an anesthesiologist). Only difference between conscious and unconscious is you still breathe on your own, unlike during surgery where you need a respirator. If it's covered, do it!

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I don't want to know how the weighing process was handled.

 

They rigged commode with a bucket underneath that was lined with a bag, then they'd pull it out and weigh it when he was done. This was all done remotely at his apartment, they didn't do it in the studio. For those not familiar with stern wack packers, HPE is a completely useless 350+ lb. tub of lard. To even be within 100 yards of his apartment during the craptacular had to be vomit inducing.

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The buildup to this is actually quite funny. I'm nervous, as if I've never had a BM and have no idea what it will be like. I'm outside the bathroom like I'm waiting in line to order from the Soup Nazi. Let's see — I will go in, undo my shorts, close the door with my left, no right, no left hand, then…

 

Medium crab bisque. I would eat that right now.

 

I may be crazy from hunger.

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For anyone with a colonoscopy in his or her future, keep in mind that 8 ounces is more like a typical coffee cup and not a typical drinking glass.

 

You're coming in at just under 2 liters with those 8 8-ounce drinks. So I say fill up an empty coke bottle and have yourself some fun. Sounds like a blast.

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You're coming in at just under 2 liters with those 8 8-ounce drinks. So I say fill up an empty coke bottle and have yourself some fun. Sounds like a blast.

 

I feel like I'm at the Coney Island hot dog eating contest. The first three tasted good. I'm dragging a bit, but only a few more drinks to go.

 

By the way, is anyone who's been on the fence about getting a colonoscopy willing to come forward? What are your concerns?

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