Top 100 Non-Contractual Pitches For Relocating to Buffalo

[X. Benedict]

While Waiting for Babcock to Decide.  In the Spirit of Letterman's finale. 

 

 

#100  We will teach you and your family how to say Scajaquada 

 

#99 Detroit has Dominoes and Little Caesars. We've never ordered that, but we have that too. 

 

#98 Mackinaw Fudge.... that.....Sponge Candy.

 

#97 When snowed-in at the Buffalo airport you are closer to the peeler bars than most cities. 

 

#96 Your bars close at what time? I think we have you beat by 2 hours. 

 

#95 Only place in the East with a sunset over water. Don't have to go to San Jose for that. 

 

#94 Canadian TV. 

 

#93 Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. Teach it to relatives with grammatical authority. 

 

#92 We have internationally celebrated conductor Joann Falletta and though we aren't sure what that means, we sports fans believe she is doing a great job of that. 

 

#91 Dude. Van Halen is playing Darien Lake this summer with Diamond David Frickin Lee Roth 

[Neo]

90). An honest effort makes you a hero (unless you criticize us for still craving results).

 

89). Tops and Wegmans.

 

88). Underneath all those layers, there's something pretty exciting.

 

87). Architecture and history.

 

86.). God lives in Ontario, an 8 iron away.

 

85). Forty five minutes to anything.

 

84). Summer and fall.

 

83). The same guys on the same stools on the same nights.

 

82). Delaware Park, Artpark and Niagara on the Lake.

 

81). Youse guys who post here.

 

80). People with jumper cables who live to help.

[FLYNNSanity]

#79 We once had an NBA team...

[Taro T]

78 - The Anchor Bar isn't even in the top 3 places to get wings.

 

77 - Marcel Dionne didn't even play here but lives here.

 

76 - You followed Scotty in Detroit, now you can be neighbors.

 

75 - You won't necessarily have to take the Kensington to get to the rink anymore.

 

74 - No Robocop, but we've got the Natural.

 

73 - Bob Segar still plays here every 2 years; it'll be like you never left.

 

72 - Your farm club isn't even 90 minutes away.

 

71 - You never have to suffer through another Lions game again.

[SwampD]

#70 In some places, you have to drive south first to get to Canada

 

#69 That TV at 716 is really big. You should see it.

 

#68 The subway is free anywhere above ground.

 

#67 We play both anthems, too.

 

#66 It's never reached 100 degrees in the city.

 

#65 There is more live music outdoors between Memorial day and Labor day than anywhere on the planet.

 

#64 I mean really, have you seen that TV.

[LastPommerFan]

#63 - Our Tacos are Mighty.

[deluca67]

#62 - Rex Ryan wife's feet. 

[darksabre]

#61 - Shark Girl

[sabills]

#60 Every Greek person who lives here owns a diner, and they're amazing.

#59 We had a president shot here, which is, you know, something. They also electrocuted that elephant.

#58 Sure, Detroit is Hockey TOWN, but this is Hockey HEAVEN. Or at least will be when we draft Eichel.

#57 Jack Eichel

#56 You and Rex Ryan can be best buds and when you both retire after like, 8 championships each, you can star in your own buddy-cop show entitled "Coach 2 Coach" where you both use your innate abilities to get your fellow cops to up their "compete" level. 

#55 HarborCentre

[LGR4GM]

#54 - We have some of the best Public Schools in the State.

 

#53 - If you win us a cup you will be a legend.  Heroes get remembered but legends never die. (We have the power to grant you immortality)

 

#52 - All the Buffalo Street Festivals including Taste of Buffalo and Wing Fest

Edited May 19, 2015 by LGR4GM

[Ghost of Dwight Drane]

51) Your office smells like Cheerios if you open the window

 

50) You can get a "lapdance" from a McGill girl at The Downer, because a 6 in Montreal is a 9 in Niagara Falls

 

49) You will finally answer the question, "How many Polacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

[LGR4GM]

51) Your office smells like Cheerios if you open the window

 

50) You can get a "lapdance" from a McGill girl at The Downer, because a 6 in Montreal is a 9 in Niagara Falls

 

49) You will finally answer the question, "How many Polacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

:w00t:  :lol:

[Brawndo]

48) Wegmans>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Mejers

 

47) Buffalo isn't Bankrupt

 

46) Labatt's U.S. Headquarters are here

[X. Benedict]

#45 Need exercise? We got them canal-side ice-bike thingamagiggies right near the office. 

[LGR4GM]

#44 Shea's is awesome to see shows in.  Broadway cast without Broadway prices. 

#43 Rick Jeanneret 

[Ghost of Dwight Drane]

42) Broadway Market Horseradish instead of smelling salts on the bench

 

42a) Pierogi Farts

 

40) Getting a selfie on Joe Battista's Twitter within 24 hours of the press conference

 

39) Hasek played here too

 

38) When you wake up to pee 5 times a night, there's a pretty good place to check your prostate 2 miles up the road

[PASabreFan]

37) It's only a little over an hour's drive straight down Route 219 to get to the Salamanca, Olean, Bradford, PA metroplex.

[MBHockey13]

36. Weber's Horseradish Mustard and Miller's Horseradish and Sahlen's Hot Dogs.

[Doohickie]

35. Beef on ####ing weck. Kimmelweck, dude.

 

34. Loganberry.

 

 

#70 In some places, you have to drive south first to get to Canada

 

This refers to Detroit.... Not sure what the implication is here.

Edited May 19, 2015 by Neuvichs Perchatka

[LGR4GM]

#35 - Buffalo has good pizza 

[SwampD]

35. Beef on ####ing weck. Kimmelweck, dude.

 

34. Loganberry.

 

 

 

This refers to Detroit.... Not sure what the implication is here.

I should have added "too" or "also".

[Taro T]

34 - When telling people where you live, others will figure it out w/out you having to show them on your hand.

[nfreeman]

#33 - Once you learn how to drive in the snow here, you can handle it anywhere. 

[SwampD]

34 - When telling people where you live, others will figure it out w/out you having to show them on your hand.

:lol:

[LGR4GM]

#33 - Once you learn how to drive in the snow here, you can handle it anywhere. 

This is truth.