SwampD Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 I saw this discussion developing in the Bills thread and figured I'd add my two cents to the conversation in defense of my beloved yellow corn water that those of you with sophisticated palates consider swill. I started drinking cheap beers in high school and even though I'm 32 now and can afford pricier stuff, I still enjoy them to this day. Give me a frosty cold can of Milwaukee's Best Ice or Pabst Blue Ribbon any day of what fancy IPA, oatmeal stout, or whatever fruit infused non-sense they do these days. It may be low quality, but it still tastes great to me and gets the job done. PBR is not swill,… as long as you drink it as close to absolute zero as possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LGR4GM Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 Freshman year the cops bust the party while we're upstairs with the over 21 owners of the house. We're all really drunk and decide it's a good idea to jump out the window (second story). Turns out much better than expected. Did a Buffalo Bills draft story for the on-campus news broadcast completely drunk last year. Editing and all. ? I want to make a dirty joke here but it isn't appropriate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyldnwoody44 Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 I have a feeling this thread will be at 40 pages before we know it, I'll have to wait until I'm at a computer to type some stuff out but I had the pleasure of puking in a cadavers chest at 2am once.... Yes I'm going to hell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoss Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 ? I want to make a dirty joke here but it isn't appropriate. Nobody was hurt other than some small cuts and bruises. Once we all were to the ground we non-chalantly walked to the late-night pizza place and celebrated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eleven Posted January 22, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 I have a feeling this thread will be at 40 pages before we know it, I'll have to wait until I'm at a computer to type some stuff out but I had the pleasure of puking in a cadavers chest at 2am once.... Yes I'm going to hell It may be forty pages by Thursday. This is going fast! And dammit, we need that story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LGR4GM Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 I have a feeling this thread will be at 40 pages before we know it, I'll have to wait until I'm at a computer to type some stuff out but I had the pleasure of puking in a cadavers chest at 2am once.... Yes I'm going to hell Suddenly, barfing in a dog dish doesnt seem so bad... Nobody was hurt other than some small cuts and bruises. Once we all were to the ground we non-chalantly walked to the late-night pizza place and celebrated. Nice :thumbsup: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eleven Posted January 22, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 Suddenly barfing in a dog dish doesnt seem so bad... Suddenly it doesn't seem so bad? Or did you suddenly barf? That key to the right of the 'm' can solve a lot of problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drunkard Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 PBR is not swill,… as long as you drink it as close to absolute zero as possible. I agree, good sir. It's actually my 2nd favorite beer behind my beloved Milwaukee's Best Ice. Milwaukee beers are awesome because they are cheap and taste good. I just wish I could find Old Style and Leinenkugel's Original down here just to allow me to mix it up a little. The Beast Ice and Pabst do the trick though. I've actually got a beer mug tattoo'd over my heart that says Milwaukee and I've never even been to Wisconsin. I just love the beer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LGR4GM Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 Suddenly it doesn't seem so bad? Or did you suddenly barf? That key to the right of the 'm' can solve a lot of problems. :P yea yea I fixed it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trettioåtta Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 I organized strip poker between some female friends and male friends of mine. However, a few days before this was set to take place (location is hard to come by as we were all home-friends, so most of us went to different unis), I had my tonsils removed and so wasn't really meant to be drinking or seeing people. However, I wanted to make sure it went all ok, so i went for the first few hours got the game going nicely. I then left and met up with them all the next day, this is what had occurred: The girls ended up topless, the boys naked. Males B and C complained male A was flopping his manhood around too much The females complained that when I left order had been lost and the boys became too demanding (the boys decided covering your boobs with your hands was cheating) and so the girls refused to get naked Male A wanted to get with female A, so had suggested 7 minutes in heaven (which is apparently a dingy downstairs toilet). Males B and C worked out why Male A was pushing for this and kindly consented and proceeded to get with females B/C. Male C even "licked the tit" of female C. However, being my friends, males B and C decided to punish male A for his existence and did not suggest Male A/female A have 7 minutes in heaven Male B started getting with female C, thinking she was female B. Female A thought he was taking advantage of female C (to this day we aren't sure why as C was the most sober there) and started punching Male B's head and smacking it off the bed post After the violence male B retreated into female B's room and female A ended up in bed with male A Male A proceeded to finger female A without getting with her (weird). This left her sore for weeks. Male B started getting with female B, however, was doing 'no-fap september' and after receiving a ###### ended up coming to such a great volume all over her bed, female B had to get new covers. None of them have a complete memory of the night, this is a patchwork from everyone's accounts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darksabre Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyldnwoody44 Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 It may be forty pages by Thursday. This is going fast! And dammit, we need that story. I'll do my best on the phone.. The gross anatomy lab at school had a room before the actual lab that had couches, tables and computers and showers, etc... Like a lounge... Now there were several TA's that worked late hours for students to study sometimes until 3am or so because the amount of studying for gross anatomy was ridiculous. It so happened that our buddy was a TA on a Friday night all night and we had a big exam on Monday... So 5 of us started the night at around 7 with our dissecting and etc... This somehow turned into a drinking game where we would quiz each other on certain muscles and nerves and etc and each time you answered one right, you got to pass out a drink and if wrong you drank twice.... The lab is basically locked unless you are a student or a TA so we had no worries.... This went on for several hours, tequila, snakebite, and flavored vodka shots.... We ended up ordering a pizza and eating it over the cadavers at 1 am... I was just finished removing the lungs out of the chest cavity of our cadaver when my buddy challenged me to a chug content (of hard liquor) of course I will couldn't turn it down... So he grabbed a bottle and I grabbed the tequila and we counted down, started chugging... About 5 seconds in a nice chemical reaction occurred between the pizza grease and the liquor and bam, up came the chunks right into the opened chest cavity of our cadaver. I remember waking up on the couch in the lounge with the smell of embalming fluid in the air, which sparked my gag reflex to react again.... Worst part was I had to clean up our cadaver and close the body up all hungover before people came in.... Haven't really touched tequila since Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weave Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 How many of you can say you've been physically thrown out of a strip joint? I mean feet never touched a step as the bouncer gave you the old heave ho out the front door? *raises hand* It was only the middle part of an evening celebrating my buddie's little brother's 18th birthday in Niagara Falls. We had a little bit of everything that night, including trying to cross the Rainbow Bridge back into the US without any cash for the toll. Who knew Customs officers back then would tear apart your car so you had the opportunity to sober up while putting it all back together? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyldnwoody44 Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 I organized strip poker between some female friends and male friends of mine. However, a few days before this was set to take place (location is hard to come by as we were all home-friends, so most of us went to different unis), I had my tonsils removed and so wasn't really meant to be drinking or seeing people. However, I wanted to make sure it went all ok, so i went for the first few hours got the game going nicely. I then left and met up with them all the next day, this is what had occurred: The girls ended up topless, the boys naked. Males B and C complained male A was flopping his manhood around too much The females complained that when I left order had been lost and the boys became too demanding (the boys decided covering your boobs with your hands was cheating) and so the girls refused to get naked Male A wanted to get with female A, so had suggested 7 minutes in heaven (which is apparently a dingy downstairs toilet). Males B and C worked out why Male A was pushing for this and kindly consented and proceeded to get with females B/C. Male C even "licked the tit" of female C. However, being my friends, males B and C decided to punish male A for his existence and did not suggest Male A/female A have 7 minutes in heaven Male B started getting with female C, thinking she was female B. Female A thought he was taking advantage of female C (to this day we aren't sure why as C was the most sober there) and started punching Male B's head and smacking it off the bed post After the violence male B retreated into female B's room and female A ended up in bed with male A Male A proceeded to finger female A without getting with her (weird). This left her sore for weeks. Male B started getting with female B, however, was doing 'no-fap september' and after receiving a ###### ended up coming to such a great volume all over her bed, female B had to get new covers. None of them have a complete memory of the night, this is a patchwork from everyone's accounts. This seems like a really difficult algebra equation Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eleven Posted January 22, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 How many of you can say you've been physically thrown out of a strip joint? I mean feet never touched a step as the bouncer gave you the old heave ho out the front door? *raises hand* It was only the middle part of an evening celebrating my buddie's little brother's 18th birthday in Niagara Falls. We had a little bit of everything that night, including trying to cross the Rainbow Bridge back into the US without any cash for the toll. Who knew Customs officers back then would tear apart your car so you had the opportunity to sober up while putting it all back together? I can raise both of my hands, and I hate strip joints. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost of Dwight Drane Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 I have a top 5...but they all occurred shortly outside of college. Miami tends to do that to you..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darksabre Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 I have a top 5...but they all occurred shortly outside of college. Miami tends to do that to you..... Was it the late 80s? I bet it was the late 80s... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost of Dwight Drane Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 Was it the late 80s? I bet it was the late 80s... Not at all..2000ish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trettioåtta Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 This seems like a really difficult algebra equation Ok I'll give you another one with less maths. I was in Tenerife on holiday with friends. One night we decided to do an organized bar crawl. At the first two bars there were drinking/general challenge games where the loser had to get naked and go for a run or something like that. At the third bar (still pretty sober) I went up to the DJ and asked if me and my friends could do the next one. He said yes. Then he asked me if me or my friends would mind getting naked. I said no. I turned to my friend (male A from above) and said "I don't mind getting naked because I don't plan on losing, so I don't plan on having to deal with it." I was wrong. They stopped the music and asked us to come up on stage. Then they asked us to stand in a line and for a group of girls to stand on the floor in front of a man of her choosing. Everything fine so far, nervous excitement flutters through the air. We are told to have a conversation to get to know our girl. Layla studied chemical engineering at Edinburgh university. They then told us the game we were going to be playing. The game was 'strip-naked-for-the-girl-in-front-of-you-whilst-300-strangers-watch'. A beloved childhood classic i'm sure. The music starts and there is a look of shock on our faces. We did not expect this. Thoughts flash through our heads. Can we say no? No, they'll belittle us all night if we do that. Only one thing for it. The shirt starts to come off. Hundreds eagerly await our public humiliation. I've never stripped-danced for another before. My timings are off. Halfway through the song my underwear is around my ankles. What does one do when naked? Awkward thrusting movements it is. Alas my humiliation was about to be compounded. There was a cold breeze flowing that night. The DJ used this opportunity to entertain the crowd. "Give a cheer if you think number 3 (male C from above) has the biggest bush you have ever seen." A loud cheer echoed. It was a large bush. Then came my turn. Writing this even now I feel my cheeks warm as blood rushes beneath its surface. "Give a cheer if you think number 2, myself, has the smallest ###### you've ever see." A louder cheer echoes. I'll admit, it was the smallest i've ever seen it. Not a good time for this to occur. A few minutes later the music stops. Humiliation is over. We may dress and slink into the crowd. Anonymity will protect us. Sadly not. It would be sexist for the boys to give strange girls a strip tease for it not to be returned, would it not? It is the girls turn. Now, me and my three friends are stood there with attractive 19 year olds taking their tops us for us, and all we can do is pray we do not become aroused. Some find this easier than others. Number 4 has a surprisingly dark penis for a caucasian man and is noticeably rocking a strong semi half way through. The girls refuse to take their underwear off. A common theme for my stories it appears. The music stops a second time. We must now stand on stage. Arm around our girls whilst the adorning public vote on who the best couple was through cheering for each couple. Number 1 (male A) has tied with number 5 (a stranger never to be seen again). The reason number 5 tired was because he was an attractive well built man with an equally attractive busty brunette. The reason number 1 tied was because the girl contemplated getting naked and pulled her underwear down a few times during the dance. Of course, as is a well established method for resolving such ties in a strip contest, the two couples now had to make out to decide who wins. Number 1 couple really go for it, i have to put my arm out to keep her from falling over. I feel there are three of us sharing this moment. Sadly this was no miracle on tenerife stage and the underdogs did not prevail. Me and my friends made up 80% of the couples, but we still lost. To make matters worse our female friends filmed us stripping and turned the camera off when it came to the girls turn to strip. So we couldn't even enjoy objectifying the next day either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darksabre Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 Not at all..2000ish I'm somewhat disappointed. I was hoping for coke and Ferraris and lots of neon clothing. Can we rename this thread Storytime with Uncle ThirtyEight? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
josie Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 I don't know how Josie has put up with me this long. :blush: You have certainly had your moments. And I'm not totally sure why I stuck with you through some of them! :blink: Glad I did, though. Even if you did emancipate half of the colored men of Buffalo one fateful Halloween night while dressed as Abe Lincoln. I knew d4rk for a good 4 years before we started dating- the first time I met him he was dressed as Jesus, carrying a jug of wine around, and blitzed. Most of the times I met him, he was dressed as Jesus, carrying a jug of wine around, and blitzed. One time I too was blitzed and started drawing pin up girls and jet planes on his arm. A few years later and look at us. Aw. As for me.. Oh, I've got lots of stories... but not sure all you dirty old men need to hear them. I was sort of a prude when it came to the sexy times party stuff and never did drugs... Would never do anything with a guy I wasn't seriously dating. Sorry, nothing too salacious on my part. My friends on the other hand... I was with all the art kids who would ###### anyone anywhere anytime, constantly had lesbians pursuing me (I still don't know why), often wore a leather miniskirt to parties (I was super into metal), and I had a helluva tolerance for awhile. No walks of shame or "oh god what happened last night" black outs, because as a lady, you gotta keep your guard up. I usually ended up taking care of all the sickies/sobbies. Most of my parties resulted in some kind of nudity. There were a lot of titties. Well, all the parties I went to/threw had a lot of tits. Art kids. Just boobs. Everywhere. ALL the time. Or balls out. And some drugged up guy body slamming a mattress frame and getting a wooden splinter halfway through his arm. No worries, pour some vodka on it and yank. My go to halloween costume was a vinyl catsuit (Black Widow, I swear) and that thing REEKS of vodka. I really oughta burn it. Oh, memories. We were a bunch of confused horny kids. Flunky ball was fun- d4rk happened to be there for that. The formula racing team had a dumpster they'd turned into a hot tub and a tarp out covered in crisco- you knock over a bottle and slide out to reset it, while you're out there your team drinks. First team to finish all drinks wins. So, ladies in bikinis. I was just about to play when the cops broke it up. So d4rk and I drank and jammed to Slayer in the basement until the cops left. Study abroad in Paris had some moments... cheap wine and Bastille Day and handsome french firefighters/army men at big outdoor dance parties? Mais oui. An entire square of wasted beautiful people, singing in terrible english along to Katy Perry and Yelle with fireworks going off everywhere and firefighters dancing on balconies and stripping down to well... not much... I'm a boring old fart now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X. Benedict Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 The problem is that Carlo Rossi is not a good bum wine. Good bum wine is fortified, like Wild Irish. Burp. Pass the Thunderbird. Smoother than battery acid poured down the asscrack of old donkey and sipped from a leper's boot. But not by much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darksabre Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 You have certainly had your moments. And I'm not totally sure why I stuck with you through some of them! :blink: Glad I did, though. Even if you did emancipate half of the colored men of Buffalo one fateful Halloween night while dressed as Abe Lincoln. I knew d4rk for a good 4 years before we started dating- the first time I met him he was dressed as Jesus, carrying a jug of wine around, and blitzed. Most of the times I met him, he was dressed as Jesus, carrying a jug of wine around, and blitzed. One time I too was blitzed and started drawing pin up girls and jet planes on his arm. A few years later and look at us. Aw. As for me.. Oh, I've got lots of stories... but not sure all you dirty old men need to hear them. I was sort of a prude when it came to the sexy times party stuff and never did drugs... Would never do anything with a guy I wasn't seriously dating. Sorry, nothing too salacious on my part. My friends on the other hand... I was with all the art kids who would ###### anyone anywhere anytime, constantly had lesbians pursuing me (I still don't know why), often wore a leather miniskirt to parties (I was super into metal), and I had a helluva tolerance for awhile. No walks of shame or "oh god what happened last night" black outs, because as a lady, you gotta keep your guard up. I usually ended up taking care of all the sickies/sobbies. Most of my parties resulted in some kind of nudity. There were a lot of titties. Well, all the parties I went to/threw had a lot of tits. Art kids. Just boobs. Everywhere. ALL the time. Or balls out. And some drugged up guy body slamming a mattress frame and getting a wooden splinter halfway through his arm. No worries, pour some vodka on it and yank. My go to halloween costume was a vinyl catsuit (Black Widow, I swear) and that thing REEKS of vodka. I really oughta burn it. Oh, memories. We were a bunch of confused horny kids. Flunky ball was fun- d4rk happened to be there for that. The formula racing team had a dumpster they'd turned into a hot tub and a tarp out covered in crisco- you knock over a bottle and slide out to reset it, while you're out there your team drinks. First team to finish all drinks wins. So, ladies in bikinis. I was just about to play when the cops broke it up. So d4rk and I drank and jammed to Slayer in the basement until the cops left. Study abroad in Paris had some moments... cheap wine and Bastille Day and handsome french firefighters/army men at big outdoor dance parties? Mais oui. An entire square of wasted beautiful people, singing in terrible english along to Katy Perry and Yelle with fireworks going off everywhere and firefighters dancing on balconies and stripping down to well... not much... I'm a boring old fart now. That time you roundhoused that kid in the face because he slapped my balls when I had them out giving people The Brains was priceless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
josie Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 That time you roundhoused that kid in the face because he slapped my balls when I had them out giving people The Brains was priceless. Well, you deserved a good slap in the balls for getting your balls out... sigh.... but he had it comin'. What a greasy creepball that guy was. Least I could do for all the creepy things he'd whisper in my ear all night. And I didn't actually mean to nearly knock him out/give him a bloody nose, I swear.... :angel: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJFIVEOH Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 Interesting thread to say the least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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