TheFunPolice Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 Things are slow, people are getting goofy, so here is a idea: a 500 pound man+ all of his equipment would completely block the net He wouldn't even really need to ever move. Assuming he could stand the whole game, why wouldn't it work? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ubkev Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 Sports science actually covered this one. While there is no size limit to the goalie, there are size limitations on the goalies pads. Basically it comes down to the fat guy taking too many shots at 100 mph to unprotected body parts. So yeah, nobody would want to do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
korab rules Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 Really? Oh, what the hell, why not. Even a 500 lb man isn't 4' x 6'. If he leaves holes, snipers will find them. We need a man who is 4' x 6'. I don't care how much he weighs, he just has to be 4' x 6' or larger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ROC Sabres Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 Even fat people have holes. Most of the time they are donut holes tho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
korab rules Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 Sports science actually covered this one. While there is no size limit to the goalie, there are size limitations on the goalies pads. Basically it comes down to the fat guy taking too many shots at 100 mph to unprotected body parts. So yeah, nobody would want to do it. Bullspit. I'm going to put on 400 lbs and prove you all wrong. Who wants to chip in for my grocery/beer bill? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheFunPolice Posted January 26, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 Sports science actually covered this one. While there is no size limit to the goalie, there are size limitations on the goalies pads. Basically it comes down to the fat guy taking too many shots at 100 mph to unprotected body parts. So yeah, nobody would want to do it. Interesting... so if someone was really large, he wouldn't be allowed to wear as much padding? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron Crotch Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 Really? Oh, what the hell, why not. Even a 500 lb man isn't 4' x 6'. If he leaves holes, snipers will find them. We need a man who is 4' x 6'. I don't care how much he weighs, he just has to be 4' x 6' or larger. What if he were to lay on his side the whole game? Then he'd only need to be 6' x 4'... would still have some coverage difficult by his head and skates though... hmmm.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inkman Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 What if he were to lay on his side the whole game? Then he'd only need to be 6' x 4'... would still have some coverage difficult by his head and skates though... hmmm.... So if he's 7' tall x 4' + wide were in luck? What's shaq doing now a days? After making $500 million throughout his career, I doubt he'd have motivation to do it. What about Oliver Miller? He's gotta have those dimensions (I know he was only 6'9" but I'm certain he was 4' wide and his career fizzled out pretty quick. Maybe he needs a buck. Although, I'd like to hear what nickname Shaq would give himself. Round mound of rebounds? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meathead Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 doesnt have to be a man either. just force feed jlo lard tacos and let her sit ass out in the net. then thered only be two holes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UncleWally Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 Although, I'd like to hear what nickname Shaq would give himself. Round mound of rebounds? That won't work, Sir Charles (Barkley) already has that monicker locked up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K-9 Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 Even fat people have holes. Most of the time they are donut holes tho. This isn't one of those "roll 'em in the flour" jokes, is it? GO SABRES!!! So if he's 7' tall x 4' + wide were in luck? What's shaq doing now a days? After making $500 million throughout his career, I doubt he'd have motivation to do it. What about Oliver Miller? He's gotta have those dimensions (I know he was only 6'9" but I'm certain he was 4' wide and his career fizzled out pretty quick. Maybe he needs a buck. Although, I'd like to hear what nickname Shaq would give himself. Round mound of rebounds? You could always just "stack" your calves. GO SABRES!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spndnchz Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 I think play behind the net would suffer and thus, we lose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DFITZ1 Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 Things are slow, people are getting goofy, so here is a idea: a 500 pound man+ all of his equipment would completely block the net He wouldn't even really need to ever move. Assuming he could stand the whole game, why wouldn't it work? Chances are they couldn't fit thru door onto the rink, and if they climbed over they jumped over the boards, the landing would cruch teh cooling pipes. Actually, I think that over the years goalies have needed to get more leaner and agile compared to the "no mask" era. Being able to go post to post in a split second for a kick save is more acrobatic than some end-to-end rushes, it just doesn't take long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inkman Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 That won't work, Sir Charles (Barkley) already has that monicker locked up. Uh no...Barkley was the mound round of rebound. Singular...see what I did there. Ya know cuz in a game with a giant fat man in net there would be lots of reboundS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ubkev Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 Interesting... so if someone was really large, he wouldn't be allowed to wear as much padding? Not that he wouldnt be allowed to wear as much padding, he can wear the same padding all the other goalies wear....the 180 pound goalies. Or in our case the 165 pound goalies... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvelo Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 when the poor guy finally has a heart attack, (5-10 mins) how are they gonna get him off the ice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samson's Flow Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 when the poor guy finally has a heart attack, (5-10 mins) how are they gonna get him off the ice? they won't need to, he will be the all time sabres leader in home wins :nana: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spndnchz Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 when the poor guy finally has a heart attack, (5-10 mins) how are they gonna get him off the ice? Even dead he fills up the same space. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samson's Flow Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 Even dead he fills up the same space. They just need to get another guy for road trips and theyre all set. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheChimp Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 This would be a good place for that picture being disseminated in the other thread... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwampD Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJz55az43QQ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derrico Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 This board has officially lost it.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron Crotch Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 Even dead he fills up the same space. And, if he is dead, he'll never cash his paychecks... and he'll be on ice, so the smell won't be a big issue... and... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miller30 Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 Even dead he fills up the same space. Actually dead he would fill up more space once the bloating started - bonus! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shrader Posted January 27, 2012 Report Share Posted January 27, 2012 Thank you Charles Wang. What's next, a 15 year contract for Enroth? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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