pi2000 Posted April 30, 2015 Report Share Posted April 30, 2015 Sabres vs Black Knights in the final Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dEnnis the Menace Posted April 30, 2015 Report Share Posted April 30, 2015 Sabres finish 2nd in East with 110 points - 2019 Stanley Cup Playoffs Round 1 opponent: Carolina Hurricants Game 1 Sabres 6 Canes 0 Andrej Sekera scores all 6 goals for the Sabres, Eichel assists 4 of them. Deslauriers records 34 hits in the first period. My siblings and I all do a drunken dance around her Canes fan boyfriend. JJ blasts the Canes goalie for sucking way worse than Tim Thomas did in the playoffs at age 38. Game 2 Sabres 7 Canes 0 Evander Kane notches a hatty and gets a major penalty for celebratorily riding his stick into their GT, injuring him. No suspension is given. PA writes a short story about a handsome young super hero vanquishing a cockeye-browed boogyman. Game 3 Canes 3 Sabres 2 The Sabres were visibly drunk (progressively so following each intermission), especially Ullmark who played more than half of the game facing the wrong way. Tyler Ennis knocked out Jeff Skinner and then accidentally started fighting Reinhart. Reinhart injures his hand punching Ennis's cup. Reinhart will not be fine for the rest of the series. Liger is in tears. Game 4 Canes 1 Sabres 6 Babdick runs a bag skate instead of pre-game warm ups. Ryan O'Reilly puked his guts out 5 minutes before the opening faceoff but was still out there to shut down Eric Staal. A tired Sabres squad leaned on Nikita Zadorov for 4 goals, intimidating the Canes forwards away from the defensive zone all night (even from the bench), and 3 broken glass panes from bone shattering checks. d4rk's new avatar is a custom gif of all 3 hits superimposed with the Nikita-truck. Game 5 Sabres 11 Canes 7 The Sabres decide to play only 4 skaters and no goaltender. Captain Zemgus Girgensons returns from the injury he sustained during the regular season (he fought every single member of the Boston Bruins 4th line after scoring the 3rd goal of a natural hat trick- his hand bones got screwed up from knocking out teeth) and marks his post season debut with 5 goals and 16 takeaways in his opening shift. Ullmark notches a goal and 2 assists skating at the rover position. In a drunken stupor of delight, Aud bumps into Kim Pegula on his way out of the game. She's sniffling a little bit, and in a moment of excitement for the series win and weakness from the long months of putting on the brave show reveals that her and Terry's marriage might be on the rocks. It's a strange sensation, but she feels like she can confide in this kindly stranger. Me and my siblings throw rocks at my sister's boyfriend's car. 2nd round opponent, Boston Bruins... This is great! :lol: :lol: :beer: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sabre Dance Posted April 30, 2015 Report Share Posted April 30, 2015 Dude, really? Cart ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->Horse. Not only are you counting your chickens before they are hatched, the eggs haven't even been laid yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyldnwoody44 Posted May 1, 2015 Report Share Posted May 1, 2015 I'm patiently awaiting a second round match up from qwk...... Highlight of my day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LGR4GM Posted May 1, 2015 Report Share Posted May 1, 2015 and that's how you yoututbe. Props to Chz in the complaint thread for the timely Jurassic Park vid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drunkard Posted May 1, 2015 Report Share Posted May 1, 2015 I'd like to beat Boston, Carolina, and Philly in whatever order is feasible then beat Dallas for the Cup. The next season we can take out Pittsburgh, Ottawa, and Toronto before taking out McDavid and the Oilers to repeat our reign as Champions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qwksndmonster Posted May 1, 2015 Report Share Posted May 1, 2015 (edited) Round 2 opponent: Boston Bruins Game 1 Sabres 5 Bruins 4 The Sabres close out a close game against a hungry young bruins squad. After trading nearly their entire team for Seguin and Kessel, the Bruins discovered that Brad Marchand was really the second half of Kessel's body. Once whole, Kessel dominated play as a fat-scumbag-speedster-sniper-agitator. Kessel was up to their usual tricks, notching a hat trick early against the Sabres. Things were looking down until 24 year old Rasmus Ristolainen (pictured below) separated Kessel's body once again with a perfectly timed open ice hip check. Kessel lost nearly 40% of his body mass, but it was mostly in his nose. Rasmus would finish the night with 2 goals, scoring the game winner with 2 seconds left. Game 2 Sabres 3 Bruins 5 After getting used to skating without a 45 pound nose, Kessel looked even faster in game 2, notching 4 goals. Mark Pysyk notched 2 butt-goals into the crack of Bruins GT Jhonas Enroth, but was also victimized in his own end by old-man Lucic. Lucic finished with a goal, an assist, and a fight. (He ended up fighting his own teammate after accidentally spearing one of Kessel's 3 nuts. DeLuca argues that this is exactly what the Bruins needed to get back into the series.) Sabres captain Zemgus Girgensons destroyed the locker room after the game, unhappy with his team's effort. Reports indicate that he also confiscated 2 turntables and 1 microphone from the team music room. Team karaoke stalwarts Tyler Ennis and Jack Eichel had little to say in their post game interviews. Game 3 Bruins 0 Sabres 27 With Sam Reinhart returning from injury, the Buffalo Sabres dominated center ice once again. Eichel and Ennis played with their hair on fire, each notching at least 13 points. Zemgus Girgensons tried to fight the entire Bruin 4th line again, but Babdick called him back to the bench to have a serious talk with him about preserving his hands so he can lift the cup. Nick Deslauriers took over the fight, slaying 1 and severely injuring 2 others. Ryan O'Reilly finally got dialed in against SuperKessel and shut him down with a 3 course 2nd breakfast. Nikita Zadorov played every single one of his shifts from the press box, eating chicken wings and throwing the bones at Boston fans. Game 4 Bruins 0 Sabres 1 Baptiste scored the lone goal of the night 7 seconds into the first period. A line brawl broke out, and then a bench brawl, and then a press-box brawl. GMTM lost his glasses after he headbutted Jeremy Jacobs. Jacobs is still in the ICU awaiting surgery to remove the thick black rimmed glasses from his forehead. The rest of the game took place with no players on the ice (as every active player was assessed a game misconduct for the brawl). Bruins fans continued to cheer their team on, but unfortunately their loyalty was not rewarded with a goal. Shanahan attempts to suspend every Sabres player, until he is kicked in the face by Kim Pegula. No suspensions are given to either team. Game 5 Sabres 15 Bruins 2 Back on home ice, Babdick employs his trademark coaching strategy: having all of his players scream "Miss!" at the Bruins each time they took a shot. The two Bruins goals were a result of Ullmark thinking that his teammates were yelling for him to miss the puck. Matt Ellis was an emergency call up for this game, and notched the game winning tally. He retires after the game and his number (.01) is raised to the rafters. The Buffalo PA guy blasts a dubstep remix of Sweet Caroline during the entire third period. Bruins coach Mike Milbury called it "a disgrace" in his post game interview, in which he was oddly not wearing shoes. Tyler Seguin said that he was proud of his two goals, and can't wait to get back into the playoffs. ECF: 1st place Maple Leafs vs 2nd place Buffalo Sabres, Edited May 1, 2015 by qwksndmonster Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ubkev Posted May 4, 2015 Report Share Posted May 4, 2015 Alright qwk, it's been a couple days. Give us the ECF. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PASabreFan Posted May 4, 2015 Report Share Posted May 4, 2015 Game 5 Sabres 15 Bruins 2 Back on home ice, Babdick employs his trademark coaching strategy: having all of his players scream "Miss!" at the Bruins each time they took a shot. The two Bruins goals were a result of Ullmark thinking that his teammates were yelling for him to miss the puck. I instinctively knew to pull the cup of tea away from lips before reading this. Good thing, it could have been a bad start of the day for the monitor. Also: three course second breakfast! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qwksndmonster Posted May 4, 2015 Report Share Posted May 4, 2015 Alright qwk, it's been a couple days. Give us the ECF. Finals week for me. Next time I'm really in need of a break I'll try to write some of the ECF. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frissonic Posted May 4, 2015 Report Share Posted May 4, 2015 It would be pretty sweet to knock out Philly, Toronto, and Boston en route to the Finals. But we have a lot of bad memories with a lot of clubs to avenge. Pittsburgh Ottawa Montreal Carolina Islanders We can knock out different teams every year as we build our dynasty. Is there a particular reason why dallas isn't on the original list? what has chicago ever done to us? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CallawaySabres Posted May 4, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 4, 2015 Is there a particular reason why dallas isn't on the original list? what has chicago ever done to us? Jet Blue to O'Hare, old stomping grounds, great city and overall just a fun match-up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frissonic Posted May 4, 2015 Report Share Posted May 4, 2015 Jet Blue to O'Hare, old stomping grounds, great city and overall just a fun match-up. but ... *dallas*. destroyer of dreams. EVERY buffalo sports dream, for that matter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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