Ghost of Dwight Drane Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 Man card? The argument isn't about amount consumed GoDD. We need not go there. As for the order, I've already explained it. And I will stick to that order, which prevents me from missing any of the exciting action. I go in, set my beer down, piss, wash hands (yes, I set it down), leave. Maybe we should spend some time talking about your mouth watering issue involving a surreptitious gaze at swinging junk ala Chuck Berry while satisfying a sick fetish of smelling arena bathroom fragrances and humming Swords of a 1000 men. My man card? Yikes. :D Would you bring nachos into the bathroom? Serious question.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Braedon Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 :D Would you bring nachos into the bathroom? Serious question.... Honestly? If I'm buying food I get it after, but I don't usually get food at the game. I justify my beer because I get 22oz across the way from the bathroom and the 2 attendants checking IDs are PAINFULLY slow. I get there first, I'm out of that line and back to the seats with 5-8 minutes to spare in the int. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IKnowPhysics Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 Dude, you forgot to pick up your beer. And messiness like that is the reason we can't have nice things... like cup holders on our urinals. Do learn how to operate your junk with one hand while holding your beer. Then you can whip out a good Statue of Liberty pose. Or, if you're like me and you have to uncoil it like rope, learn how to hold the rim of the beer cup in your mouth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spndnchz Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 I need to change the title of the thread to "Drinking with your junk out - a how-to"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost of Dwight Drane Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 Honestly? If I'm buying food I get it after, but I don't usually get food at the game. I justify my beer because I get 22oz across the way from the bathroom and the 2 attendants checking IDs are PAINFULLY slow. I get there first, I'm out of that line and back to the seats with 5-8 minutes to spare in the int. . I see what you are saying, and honestly I have done the same. I was interested more to hear Korab's response. If he is afraid to set the beer down and only uses one hand.....I ask you to go to your sink now and only wash one hand. How quality of a job is that? And would you want to share popcorn with someone who is a one-hander? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Braedon Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 I see what you are saying, and honestly I have done the same. I was interested more to hear Korab's response. If he is afraid to set the beer down and only uses one hand.....I ask you to go to your sink now and only wash one hand. How quality of a job is that? And would you want to share popcorn with someone who is a one-hander? Good point. If I'm holding my beer whilst relieving, it's because I'm drunk and I'm showing off how I can drink the beer while simultaneously having good aim. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samson's Flow Posted May 13, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 Good point. If I'm holding my beer whilst relieving, it's because I'm drunk and I'm showing off how I can drink the beer while simultaneously having good aim. Hopefully she's not sitting on the pot while you're 'showing off' :sick: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spndnchz Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 Good point. If I'm holding my beer whilst relieving, it's because I'm drunk and I'm showing off how I can drink the beer while simultaneously having good aim. My ex told me that he doesn't wash his hands after -that, or flush. He said there's prolly more germs on the urinal and the sink tap than his "junk". And, no, after that I never shared popcorn with him again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost of Dwight Drane Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 There is only one logical solution for maximum efficiency. If you feel the need to get a beer before going to the bathroom because the bathroom line is too long, by the time you reach the pisser, you should have consumed enough beverage to make it possible to hold the cup with your teeth as you employ both hands for both a safe and courteous urination. If for some reason the cup is too heavy, the line was not long enough in the first place to warrant a trip to the beer stand first. The one hand thing doesn't work at Bills games, unless Martha Stewart is your wife and your 4 layers all have conjoined barndoors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Braedon Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 There is only one logical solution for maximum efficiency. If you feel the need to get a beer before going to the bathroom because the bathroom line is too long, by the time you reach the pisser, you should have consumed enough beverage to make it possible to hold the cup with your teeth as you employ both hands for both a safe and courteous urination. If for some reason the cup is too heavy, the line was not long enough in the first place to warrant a trip to the beer stand first. The one hand thing doesn't work at Bills games, unless Martha Stewart is your wife and your 4 layers all have conjoined barndoors. For Bills games, I just let the cup float like a boat in the trough. :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samson's Flow Posted May 13, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 For Bills games, I just let the cup float like a boat in the trough. :rolleyes: ...and there goes the neighborhood. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2ForTripping Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 You know what's even more funny? That person hasn't posted in a while. Not funny, but sad that you even know that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost of Dwight Drane Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 For Bills games, I just let the cup float like a boat in the trough. :rolleyes: In all honesty, both of these teams have been so non-compelling for the better part of a decade that my pee theory has changed. There was no way I would get up during a Bills game. I would party hearty at the tailgate....then take one to the seat and suffer through the half. I wouldn't get up in a Sabres playoff either. Now...i welcome the stretch and diversion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spndnchz Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 Not funny, but sad that you even know that. Shrader invented the GPSmouse #dontchaknow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shrader Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 Not funny, but sad that you even know that. So when you have a bunch of kids running around screaming, then suddenly they stop, you're saying you don't notice that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Two or less Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 My ex told me that he doesn't wash his hands after -that, or flush. He said there's prolly more germs on the urinal and the sink tap than his "junk". And, no, after that I never shared popcorn with him again. I don't get it, why not? :unsure: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shrader Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 I don't get it, why not? :unsure: He's reaching into that popcorn bag with his unwashed hand. He may as well be doing the old trick where he cut a hole out of the bottom of the bag. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samson's Flow Posted May 13, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 He's reaching into that popcorn bag with his unwashed hand. He may as well be doing the old trick where he cut a hole out of the bottom of the bag. But... if he cut a hole in the bottom of the bag all the popcorn would fall out. :unsure: If only there was something to plug the hole with :ph34r: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
korab rules Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 No more nastier than you putting it on the ground in front of you at your seat....which you walked on....after you walked in the bathroom and everywhere else. It's the bottom of the cup, and its the top of the flush valve. While everyone else runs to the bathroom, I grab my beer right away and then head to the head. The beer line takes longer. The top of the pisser is still the pisser. I would no sooner set my beer down on top of it than I would set it in the pisser. And I never set my beer down on the floor. I will use the cupholders in the 100's, though. Probably for the stories... ;) +1!!!!:D Never abandon your beer. :pirate: +2!!! Do learn how to operate your junk with one hand while holding your beer. Then you can whip out a good Statue of Liberty pose. Or, if you're like me and you have to uncoil it like rope, learn how to hold the rim of the beer cup in your mouth. +3. The beer in the teeth move is a nice alternative if your beer is half gone. If I ever see you pull a statue of liberty move in the men's room at HSBC Arena I will bash your head off a urinal. I see what you are saying, and honestly I have done the same. I was interested more to hear Korab's response. If he is afraid to set the beer down and only uses one hand.....I ask you to go to your sink now and only wash one hand. How quality of a job is that? And would you want to share popcorn with someone who is a one-hander? I don't always take beer to the bathroom, but when I do I don't touch anything but myself. My junk is so clean you can eat off it. Look around at the walls and floor near a pisser sometime. There is piss EVERYWHERE! Think that handle is clean? NFW. I'm not touching that. And I don't eat at the arena. My ex told me that he doesn't wash his hands after -that, or flush. He said there's prolly more germs on the urinal and the sink tap than his "junk". And, no, after that I never shared popcorn with him again. Considering it's your ex boyfriend, I would think the germ comparison is a toss up. I know that my junk is germ free and infinitely cleaner than the urinal handle and sink in a bathroom used by a thousand people. Do you like your popcorn with hot butter? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Two or less Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 He's reaching into that popcorn bag with his unwashed hand. He may as well be doing the old trick where he cut a hole out of the bottom of the bag. Yeah, but touching it for several seconds and then touching the popcorn is a big no-no, however taking her head down south on the other hand is simply a-ok? And i'm just assuming here i know but im sure thats a fair assumption. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samson's Flow Posted May 13, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 Yeah, but touching it for several seconds and then touching the popcorn is a big no-no, however taking her head down south on the other hand is simply a-ok? And i'm just assuming here i know but im sure thats a fair assumption. Everyone knows its way more dirty to eat popcorn following hand contact of his phallic object than to place one's mouth directly on said phallic object. :unsure: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost of Dwight Drane Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 My junk is so clean you can eat off it. my junk is germ free You should run for office with these slogans. Maybe we should get Matt Lauer to come in with his blacklight and examine your junk after sitting in an arena seat for an hour after a 15 minute walk from the lot. Sad thing is, there is a 70% chance Ted Black will read this thread, and a 30% chance he will be turned on by it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost of Dwight Drane Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 Everyone knows its way more dirty to eat popcorn following hand contact of his phallic object than to place one's mouth directly on said phallic object. :unsure: Tis true....the butter allows for lipid-solluable micro-organisms to thrive in chz's stomach. She's probably heard that a few times before... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derrico Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 For Bills games, I just let the cup float like a boat in the trough. :rolleyes: :clapping: :worthy: I'm still laughing over this!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derrico Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 So I remember someone bad mouthing the bandwagoners for not hanging around in the summer to miss the 'real discussions'. I had to laugh, because this thread IS what the summer discussions are about. +1000000 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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