I went 25 years ago on my first honeymoon so no help on specifics like hotels, etc., but I thought the Big Island was very cool. Wild variation in climates to explore on the one island, active volcano, black sand beaches, small enough to drive around in one day or spend a few days doing it.
Only spent two days on Oahu which was more than enough. Honolulu is just another big city that happens to be on a beach; Pearl Harbor was the only memorable thing there. Not recommended.
Maui was beautiful, stayed at some resort near Lahaina. A lot to see there or just hang on the beach.
If you come to SF, plan to spend a day doing something like hiking the Marin Headlands. So much awesome natural beauty here to enjoy. Wine country is an hour away but save that for a trip without the kids.