Eleven

I received a text message tonight from an unknown number. It said "This is [weave's real name]. New phone number. [redacted]" I received the message at precisely 7:25 left in the Bruins-Rays game. I immediately asked who this person was and what the person had done with [weave's real name]. The response was unintelligible. Someone KNEW that we would be watching that game, and not watching weave, at precisely 7:25 left in the second. Now, I know weave, and I know he can be unintelligible at times, but this raised my nerves a bit. I have concluded that either (1) something nefarious has happened to weave or (2) a Kazhakstani spy has taken over his persona. It is possible that weave is just really that wasted, but no, my experience says no. Accordingly, I want to gather a Special SabreSpace Task Force to look for weave. We will gather on the northernmost point of the shore of Lake Geneva tomorrow at 10 pm. It is best to operate under cover of darkness. I want the following people to perform the following roles, and nothing other than these roles, on the Task Force: @WildCard You are going to deal with sewers and vermin. This should have been obvious before you volunteered, which you didn't. @New Scotland (NS) You live in some sort of Narnia land near Canada, but like a Narnia that is all Sunnyvale Trailer Park. Stand by. You can't get to the location by tomorrow. But you're pretty religious, so pray for @Weave @shrader You also can't get here in time. I want you to monitor all homeowner associations in your area. @spndnchz You need to cut your hair, disguise yourself like @LGR4GM and make sure that the entire operation is politically correct. @LGR4GM You need to disguise yourself like @spndnchz and infiltrate the enemy headquarters. @inkman will give you sufficient lubrication from his factory. @Ogre We need you there just to be threatening. No, @inkman, not this time. We need to be quiet and discreet. @nfreeman will moderate the entire operation and make sure that no one says a cross word about, well, You Know Who. @PASabreFan we need you to make bologna and cheese sandwiches and deliver them to the front. If you are too old and frail, we will dispatch @Brawndo to get them and deliver. With a name like that, I think he can smuggle sandwiches across state lines. Most critically, @Thorny will make sure that @Ducky stays away. He pretends to be a Jets fan, which makes him a prime suspect. I will commandeer the operation and also be the official pedant. This is important. Level 3 important. (Sorry, @Weave, you're just not DEFCON 2 yet.) Our codename will be @Wilbur EDIT: Sorry, @That Aud Smell, but you're drunk.

I just put it on. Anything of significance other than the goal?

The Conor Shearys of the world aren't tough to find.

Everything I'm reading says so.

They also sent another 3d/4th line winger and a fairly good prospect. I hope this isn't a market-setting trade.

Ugh. Hang in there and let me know what you need.

Now people who had the virus and got over it are becoming re-infected. Sorry in advance for the Forbes link: https://www.forbes.com/sites/carlieporterfield/2020/08/25/two-more-people-were-reinfected-with-coronavirus-after-recovering-from-first-case-virologists-say/?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark#44b5134016b4

I see why Toronto was eager to pull the trigger. That's a haul for Kapanen. What I don't understand is why Pittsburgh thought it needed to rush to get a third-line winger.

Cellophane is biodegradable.

Hey--sorry, I hadn't opened this thread in a while. I'm sorry to hear you're not well! I'm not the most adept at these things but I can try to run the league for you if you still need someone.

Yes. What Pittsburgh did here was haphazard.

Done.

It's mutating. Great.

I would guess that the Membership Coordinator herself wrote that and that it's just self-deprecating humor. Or is what is probably a volunteer-based trail association large enough to have both a Membership Coordinator and a PR person?

The insomnia is real. Yeah but 2001 was recent enough that we weren't so rabid.

I can't.

You do a very good job with @WildCard .

He causes more loser Sabres stink than he absorbs. He is a net producer of loser Sabres stink.

The dog or the cat? The dog looks cool. Cats suck more than Tage.

I didn't know that there were animals attracted to the poop of their, umm, "competitors." I thought all animals marked their territory with that stuff. I learned today! And it's only 43 minutes into the day.

Ok, the fourth day of insomnia is resulting in slight delirium. Please be patient with me.

Men and women both have torsos. And who in here is debating about the biology of the male sex? I think we're all pretty clear on that topic. If you're not, I can try to get the picture book that my mom gave to me about 42 years ago. EDIT: Highlight of book:

This is a good point. Also, Kenny Albert reminds me of Bert from Sesame Street. Looks, not voice.

There was no Sabrespace in 2003 and I don't know that we would have said it if there were Sabrespace in 2003. We fans were coming off of a semifinals, a finals, a first-round exit, and a second-round exit that shouldn't have happened but for a (Warrener?) screwup. We also were watching a team with a real coach. Maybe we are now, I don't know, but we sure weren't for seven of the last eight years. Life wasn't so bad in 2003. Except there was no Sabrespace. They suck. If they turn out to not suck, it's because they read this and decided to get better.

1) My bracket desperately needs Grubauer back. 2) Someone please get Jim Nill a laxative. He looks very pained.