Assquatch

A guard got demoted to tackle. Next the long snapper will get demoted to quarterback. Heh long snapper

It's Friday, Friday, close this thing down on Friday...

Sounds like somebody needs to keep their wife away from their brother.

Just because she's already had 30% of her recommended daily allowance of protein - doesn't mean I don't need to eat my breakfast.

Anyone ever had the timer set so short that the light turns off while still on the throne?

I just gave a guy (who I would kill to keep) at his annual review a 2.0% raise because it was the most I could give him.

This (sort of) happened to me in my current job. When I accepted it, the salary wasn't where I wanted it to be and they were at the limit of what they were willing to offer. They generally do performance reviews (and subsequent raises) annually so I requested an extra review at the 6-month point after I had proven myself to bring the salary closer to what I wanted. I got the review at 6 months but when I went to sign it, the "next review" was for a year later instead of at my 1-year anniversary as I had negotiated (and unfortunately failed to get in writing). I wasn't willing to push it very hard as I had only been there 6 months and the job market was very poor at the time. Now all my reviews/raises are 6 months behind what I thought I was getting.

Stems. Sliced banana peppers, cherry peppers, jalapenos - no matter the brand. It seems like 50% of the slices have either a little piece of the stem or sometimes a giant honking whole stem. How hard would it be to cut that end off and discard it before sending them through the slicer?

Why do you have quotes instead of an apostrophe in your username?

This is a test: :thumbdown: :wallbash: :thumbsup: <_< :unsure: :thumbdown: :wallbash: :thumbsup: :dry: :unsure: Wow ok so it looks like clicking them doesn't work for me, but if I type their name surrounded by colons, 4 out of the first five work. :unsure:

Ooh I know this one! One of the purple ones.

After an exhausting search of 2 years, 8 months, and 14 days, we have Mello Yellow!

(Meant to add "but thank you anyway" - but I am afraid to edit it now because even worse things happen when I try to edit a post)

OK I'll play your game. More better? Maybe if I post just one? Nope. This was more of a complaint than a cry for help. Check it: http://forums.sabres.../16994-smileys/

None of my smileys work and nobody knows why.

You haven't lived if you haven't pleasured yourself while your private parts were rubber-banded.

It's immune deficiency syndrome, and it's acquired somehow, I think.

7 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Outbreak Would Fail (Quickly) Whew~!

Damn! Sorry to hear that.

The harder it is, the easier it is.

In an attempt to go "greener", our company has done the same thing except they provided a drawer full of actual silverware. You use what you need and then throw it in the sink. The cleaning crew loads and empties the dishwasher for us. Sounds great! Except we're about a month in and now the drawer is always empty and select employees always have a pile(!) of dirty utensils at their desks. Really? You can't just throw the darn things in the sink and find them magically clean in the drawer again tomorrow morning?

When I post smileys, why does it show up like this instead of showing the picture? (Google Chrome, Windows 7)

Oh, and when I leave the apostrophe out and type "dont", Chrome's spell checker suggests only "font", "dint", "don", "dot" and "donut". Really? You can't figure out what I'm trying to type?

Every year I hold out hope that this will be the year spiders and insects and the like don't survive (whatever the ###### they do during) the winter. To ###### with the catastrophic impact on the ecosystem and foodchain blah blah blah. I don't want the little ###### scurrying around!

I have a complaint that on the last work day before a long weekend, while the weather is nice and the Sabres are winning, nobody uses the damn complaint thread. No cheating spouses? No raging cases of saber-toothed crotch crickets? Not even a hangnail?