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Breaking news: Bills hire Wally Dombrowski as Ambassador of Motivational Services. His main duty is to get liquored up and yell obscenities at the players and coaches during every practice and team meeting. During his introductory press conference, Dombrowski stated, "I take this job very seriously. You will not see me sober for one minute. That is a promise."

If they can create fake positions, then so can we. Make up a name of a position in this organization and tell us what that person does. For example, the Sabres just hired Mark Fontaine as their new Hygiene Experience Coordinator. He stares creepily at the players as they shower after the game

Give them puppies and candy? Ooh ooh I know I know. New deals that they don't deserve? The possibilities are endless

Dan said, "We'll have playoff hockey for you next year." Are they expecting another team to need our arena for the playoffs next year?

They think the fans want more

McLeod getting to 20 warms the cockles

Normally, I'd agree, but that was pretty friggin' obvious

Adams at his presser on Saturday: "Big win on Thursday to end the season. Looks like we're starting to put it together here. And yes, I will release the pictures I have of Mr. Pegula in many compromising positions. This is, of course, only if I'm fired as GM. Keep me running this ship straight into the abyss and no one gets hurt. Rob Ray and Matt Ellis are going to call games from between the benches as a couple next season. Seth Appert's hair will be made President of Hockey ops immediately. The rest of his body will continue to run the powerplay. K-Dawg out! Suck it losers!"

I hope Adams is going to explain how he plans to sign players when most of the money is spent on buying knee pads

He's a good goalie this year? Yes, we missed chances, but he made a lot of good saves