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will

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Dear Mr. B:

 

Am I in love with the woman I am dating?

 

I mean, I have missed two Sharks games in a row so I could be with her.

 

Even worse, I can listen to a truly horrific song on the radio like Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie" WITHOUT going into convulsions.

 

Please help!

Mark

 

Turn in your NHL fan card, your music fan card and your man card, Mark. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. The girl of your dreams would never take you away from hockey. She would feed you one-timers on Lake Ontario until her arms fell off. Move to Ontario immediately, wait for the lake to freeze and find true love, Mark.

 

You are not in love, Mark. You are being seduced by Satan himself. Run. Run very fast and don't stop until you see "Welcome to Port Hope."

:lol:

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