OT: Sally, Newfoundland-Poodle

[Marvin]

I want to cry.  I hate asking this.

I live in Amherst, NY.

A long time friend of my wife's just moved in with us to escape domestic abuse.  She rescued their a 7 month old Newfoundland-Poodle mix named Sally who was getting abused too.  But Sally was not well-trained (needs better house training and needs to settle down) and is too rambunctious for our cats, whom she terrifies by trying to play with them.  I already love Sally dearly, but none of our friend, my wife, nor I can care for her properly.  I work at home, but I don't have the time for her that she deserves.  My wife works tough hours.  Our friend works irregular hours.  All three of us are in therapy.  The dog needs consistency and attention that we are may never be able to give. 

If you or anyone you know and trust with dogs would like to take her, please let me know.  I really don't want to do this, because I think once she gets well-trained, she will be a great dog.  She is very friendly and affectionate.

Alternatively, if you know someone who can help train her, that may work too.  But like I said, I worry about the cats who are hiding.

I have to cry.

Edited August 2 by Marvin, Sabres Fan

[Andrew Amerk]

39 minutes ago, Marvin, Sabres Fan said:

I want to cry.  I hate asking this.

I live in Amherst, NY.

A long time friend of my wife's just moved in with us to escape domestic abuse.  She rescued their a 7 month old Newfoundland-Poodle mix named Sally who was getting abused too.  But Sally was not well-trained (needs better house training and needs to settle down) and is too rambunctious for our cats, whom she terrifies by trying to play with them.  I already love Sally dearly, but none of our friend, my wife, nor I can care for her properly.  I work at home, but I don't have the time for her that she deserves.  My wife works tough hours.  Our friend works irregular hours.  All three of us are in therapy.  The dog needs consistency and attention that we are may never be able to give. 

If you or anyone you know and trust with dogs would like to take her, please let me know.  I really don't want to do this, because I think once she gets well-trained, she will be a great dog.  She is very friendly and affectionate.

Alternatively, if you know someone who can help train her, that may work too.  But like I said, I worry about the cats who are hiding.

I have to cry.

I’m sorry to hear about this situation. 
😢

[RangerDave]

You are in a tough spot.  But thank you for looking out for those in need of help, both 2-legged and 4-legged.  You are doing work that will be rewarded.

We have 2 cats.  We would love to have a dog, too, but the area we live in is not well suited for it.

I will pray for you and your new extended family.  🙏

[JohnC]

9 hours ago, Marvin, Sabres Fan said:

I want to cry.  I hate asking this.

I live in Amherst, NY.

A long time friend of my wife's just moved in with us to escape domestic abuse.  She rescued their a 7 month old Newfoundland-Poodle mix named Sally who was getting abused too.  But Sally was not well-trained (needs better house training and needs to settle down) and is too rambunctious for our cats, whom she terrifies by trying to play with them.  I already love Sally dearly, but none of our friend, my wife, nor I can care for her properly.  I work at home, but I don't have the time for her that she deserves.  My wife works tough hours.  Our friend works irregular hours.  All three of us are in therapy.  The dog needs consistency and attention that we are may never be able to give. 

If you or anyone you know and trust with dogs would like to take her, please let me know.  I really don't want to do this, because I think once she gets well-trained, she will be a great dog.  She is very friendly and affectionate.

Alternatively, if you know someone who can help train her, that may work too.  But like I said, I worry about the cats who are hiding.

I have to cry.

I don't know you very well. What I can say with confidence is that you and your wife are wonderful people.  You both are kind and generous. I hope the situation with your wife's friend gets worked out. She needs a good lawyer and a court restraining order to address her situation. I wish her the best. 

[Weave]

Boy, if we weren’t already elbows deep in a rescue we are rehabilitating I would ask to meet the pup.  But, alas, we have one high maintenance pooch already.

I recommend you reach out to a couple of rescue organizations.  They may be able to set you up with a good foster home for Sally.

[nfreeman]

Good man.

[ddaryl]

Major respect for you trying hard to find a proper home for Sally.

So many people would just drop her off at a shelter.

I know this is tough on you, and its tugging on your heart strings, but major respect for having that heart

[Sabres Fan in NS]

You and your wife are good people with hearts in the right place.

Our next door neighbour specializes in training of rescue and high risk dogs.  She usually works at client homes to integrate the dog into that home, but her boss has a boarding school where the dogs live in for some time to facilitate the training and works with the dog and the owners to make it all work.

I hope that there is similar services available in your area.  

Good luck to you all.

[Hank]

It sounds like your friend has endured significant trauma. The dog may be a source of love and emotional support that she needs. Losing the dog on top of the trauma could by devastating to her. It's possible the cats may get used to the dog after an adjustment period. Try to ride it our a bit longer if you can. 

Edited August 2 by Hank

[Wyldnwoody44]

Do you have a pic, I am asking around at work and have a couple possibly interested in getting her a good home. 

[Marvin]

1 hour ago, Wyldnwoody44 said:

Do you have a pic, I am asking around at work and have a couple possibly interested in getting her a good home. 

I really had to crop this.  I will try more later.

[Weave]

What a gorgeous girl.  I wish I was in a position to adopt her.

Let me guess.  She’s 70lbs already?

Edited August 2 by Weave

[Marvin]

13 minutes ago, Weave said:

What a gorgeous girl.  I wish I was in a position to adopt her.

Let me guess.  She’s 70lbs already?

Almost.

[Dr. Who]

6 hours ago, Hank said:

It sounds like your friend has endured significant trauma. The dog may be a source of love and emotional support that she needs. Losing the dog on top of the trauma could by devastating to her. It's possible the cats may get used to the dog after an adjustment period. Try to ride it our a bit longer if you can. 

I sorta agree, though I understand the stress everyone is under. Just want to add that Newfs are among the very best animals with other pets and children. She won't hurt the cats --- I am a big cat person, so I researched dog breeds that are good with them.

[PASabreFan]

A little goathead-y.

[Huckleberry]

Man if I wasn't an ocean apart, my husky could use some company 🤣

[Marvin]

Update: regardless of what happens, we are getting her a crate and getting her private training lessons.

My wife started crying when she read this thread.  She grew up with a poodle and wants to keep Sally if at all possible.  I want to try too.  So we are open to having her be adopted to a home with an immaculate history, but we will try and keep her.  In any event, we figure the better training will help regardless.

[Huckleberry]

yeah mate, in the end you and the dog get attached, if you can work it out it will be nice no matter what 🙂

[Huckleberry]

reminds me of the 1 yr old doberman my uncle brought home one day.  1st day he sat himself on chair at dinner table like it was normal.
***** jumped on me and my bro all the time when I was 8.

All that stuff lasted 3 weeks, he learned from my grandmother that the steak was thrown under the table, and that jumping on me was a bad idea after I grabbed his front legs and took him for a 30 minute walk 😄

***** good dog in the end, never went to a school with him, but you just simply start to love each other 🙂

That being said, he loved to open the door, and just go out for neighbourhood walks, good times for him, scary for the neighbours that saw a big doberman walking around 🤣

Edited August 4 by Huckleberry

[Sakman]

23 hours ago, Marvin, Sabres Fan said:

Update: regardless of what happens, we are getting her a crate and getting her private training lessons.

My wife started crying when she read this thread.  She grew up with a poodle and wants to keep Sally if at all possible.  I want to try too.  So we are open to having her be adopted to a home with an immaculate history, but we will try and keep her.  In any event, we figure the better training will help regardless.

Best of luck with her. 

If you happen to be able to post a full body picture I'd love to see her. I'm a 'big dog' person and am fascinated with a Poodle-Newfie mix. (I have a Saint Bernard but she's a very petite girl at 110 lbs). 

[Marvin]

Update: I have has to do a lot of long, long overdue work on the house with the Erie County Health Department and the Town of Amherst overseeing it.  It was so bad that, essentially, I called out myself and my wife.

Because of this, Sally is not getting the training she needs.  We are looking into friends taking her.

Aside: our house has had no real maintenance in 20 years because of our work and our general lack of handiness.  My sister and brother-in-law are recommending abandoning it, losing our 6 cats and Sally, having it condemned, and starting over.  I screwed up my rolled-over retirement in 2019 by working for a start-up and will be using my mother's inheritance for the maintenance.  My family think this is throwing good money after bad.  I can't give up and would rather cram 20 years of maintenance into 1.

Sorry to unload like that.  I needed to vent somewhere.  I feel awful about the house and about Sally.

[JohnC]

1 hour ago, Marvin, Sabres Fan said:

Update: I have has to do a lot of long, long overdue work on the house with the Erie County Health Department and the Town of Amherst overseeing it.  It was so bad that, essentially, I called out myself and my wife.

Because of this, Sally is not getting the training she needs.  We are looking into friends taking her.

Aside: our house has had no real maintenance in 20 years because of our work and our general lack of handiness.  My sister and brother-in-law are recommending abandoning it, losing our 6 cats and Sally, having it condemned, and starting over.  I screwed up my rolled-over retirement in 2019 by working for a start-up and will be using my mother's inheritance for the maintenance.  My family think this is throwing good money after bad.  I can't give up and would rather cram 20 years of maintenance into 1.

Sorry to unload like that.  I needed to vent somewhere.  I feel awful about the house and about Sally.

Don't feel bad about the situation. Have you been able to find a good contractor who can help you put together a good plan to rehabilitate your home? The challenge is to find someone who is qualified and is honest to deal with. Once you do that then you can steadily do the upgrades that will make your home so much better. I'm like you in that I'm not very handy. However, I have been fortunate to have reliable contractors to do what is necessary to deal with the many issues that arise from owning a home. 

[irregularly irregular]

1 hour ago, Marvin, Sabres Fan said:

Update: I have has to do a lot of long, long overdue work on the house with the Erie County Health Department and the Town of Amherst overseeing it.  It was so bad that, essentially, I called out myself and my wife.

Because of this, Sally is not getting the training she needs.  We are looking into friends taking her.

Aside: our house has had no real maintenance in 20 years because of our work and our general lack of handiness.  My sister and brother-in-law are recommending abandoning it, losing our 6 cats and Sally, having it condemned, and starting over.  I screwed up my rolled-over retirement in 2019 by working for a start-up and will be using my mother's inheritance for the maintenance.  My family think this is throwing good money after bad.  I can't give up and would rather cram 20 years of maintenance into 1.

Sorry to unload like that.  I needed to vent somewhere.  I feel awful about the house and about Sally.

No problem with venting here. You are among friends and you letting off a little steam doesn't bother us one bit. The path is not always easy to see or traverse, but you will find your way to the end if you just keep at it and making headway. 

[Sabres Fan in NS]

2 hours ago, Marvin, Sabres Fan said:

Update: I have has to do a lot of long, long overdue work on the house with the Erie County Health Department and the Town of Amherst overseeing it.  It was so bad that, essentially, I called out myself and my wife.

Because of this, Sally is not getting the training she needs.  We are looking into friends taking her.

Aside: our house has had no real maintenance in 20 years because of our work and our general lack of handiness.  My sister and brother-in-law are recommending abandoning it, losing our 6 cats and Sally, having it condemned, and starting over.  I screwed up my rolled-over retirement in 2019 by working for a start-up and will be using my mother's inheritance for the maintenance.  My family think this is throwing good money after bad.  I can't give up and would rather cram 20 years of maintenance into 1.

Sorry to unload like that.  I needed to vent somewhere.  I feel awful about the house and about Sally.

Hey, my friend.  You are with friends here as others have stared.  Everything will be fine.  Life is overwhelming sometimes.  Take it slowly, but surely and it will get done.  Sorry that it didn't work with Sally.  You had the best of intentions and sometimes it's just not right.  Maybe you can have someone foster her until you are more ready to take better care of her.

[Digger]

On 8/20/2022 at 11:11 AM, Marvin, Sabres Fan said:

Update: I have has to do a lot of long, long overdue work on the house with the Erie County Health Department and the Town of Amherst overseeing it.  It was so bad that, essentially, I called out myself and my wife.

Because of this, Sally is not getting the training she needs.  We are looking into friends taking her.

Aside: our house has had no real maintenance in 20 years because of our work and our general lack of handiness.  My sister and brother-in-law are recommending abandoning it, losing our 6 cats and Sally, having it condemned, and starting over.  I screwed up my rolled-over retirement in 2019 by working for a start-up and will be using my mother's inheritance for the maintenance.  My family think this is throwing good money after bad.  I can't give up and would rather cram 20 years of maintenance into 1.

Sorry to unload like that.  I needed to vent somewhere.  I feel awful about the house and about Sally.

Sorry to hear about your challenges @Marvin, Sabres Fan.  It's always been evident from your posts here that you have a heart of gold.

For the house I would recommend breaking down the renovations into what needs to be done structurally as a priority.  Roof, foundation, water management to keep everything dry.  That's key to have a house that's sound structurally and then you can work through interior updates and changes as time and money allows.  I only mention this because I have seen so many people go after far too many renovations all at once.