Eleven Posted August 26, 2020 Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 (edited) I received a text message tonight from an unknown number. It said "This is [weave's real name]. New phone number. [redacted]" I received the message at precisely 7:25 left in the Bruins-Rays game. I immediately asked who this person was and what the person had done with [weave's real name]. The response was unintelligible. Someone KNEW that we would be watching that game, and not watching weave, at precisely 7:25 left in the second. Now, I know weave, and I know he can be unintelligible at times, but this raised my nerves a bit. I have concluded that either (1) something nefarious has happened to weave or (2) a Kazhakstani spy has taken over his persona. It is possible that weave is just really that wasted, but no, my experience says no. Accordingly, I want to gather a Special SabreSpace Task Force to look for weave. We will gather on the northernmost point of the shore of Lake Geneva tomorrow at 10 pm. It is best to operate under cover of darkness. I want the following people to perform the following roles, and nothing other than these roles, on the Task Force: @WildCard You are going to deal with sewers and vermin. This should have been obvious before you volunteered, which you didn't. @New Scotland (NS) You live in some sort of Narnia land near Canada, but like a Narnia that is all Sunnyvale Trailer Park. Stand by. You can't get to the location by tomorrow. But you're pretty religious, so pray for @Weave @shrader You also can't get here in time. I want you to monitor all homeowner associations in your area. @spndnchz You need to cut your hair, disguise yourself like @LGR4GM and make sure that the entire operation is politically correct. @LGR4GM You need to disguise yourself like @spndnchz and infiltrate the enemy headquarters. @inkman will give you sufficient lubrication from his factory. @Ogre We need you there just to be threatening. No, @inkman, not this time. We need to be quiet and discreet. @nfreeman will moderate the entire operation and make sure that no one says a cross word about, well, You Know Who. @PASabreFan we need you to make bologna and cheese sandwiches and deliver them to the front. If you are too old and frail, we will dispatch @Brawndo to get them and deliver. With a name like that, I think he can smuggle sandwiches across state lines. Most critically, @Thorny will make sure that @Ducky stays away. He pretends to be a Jets fan, which makes him a prime suspect. I will commandeer the operation and also be the official pedant. This is important. Level 3 important. (Sorry, @Weave, you're just not DEFCON 2 yet.) Our codename will be @Wilbur EDIT: Sorry, @That Aud Smell, but you're drunk. Edited August 26, 2020 by Eleven 2 3 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weave Posted August 26, 2020 Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 *mumbles something unintelligible * 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eleven Posted August 26, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 (edited) 7 minutes ago, Weave said: *mumbles something unintelligible * We'll get you out of there, man. Tomorrow. 10pm. We're not the A-Team, but we're the Sabres equivalent. So more like D-team. Or F-Troop. Edited August 26, 2020 by Eleven 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LGR4GM Posted August 26, 2020 Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 @spndnchz I need to borrow a dress and razor 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eleven Posted August 26, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 1 minute ago, LGR4GM said: @spndnchz I need to borrow a dress and razor The dress and razor already are on their way. Shave well, my man, for we do this for weave. Oh--the wig is at your own expense. Sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WildCard Posted August 26, 2020 Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 You don't volunteer for Charlie work, it volunteers you I'm ready 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zamboni Posted August 26, 2020 Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 Whew. Glad I wasn’t tasked with anything. Back to watching hockey.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LGR4GM Posted August 26, 2020 Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 16 minutes ago, Eleven said: The dress and razor already are on their way. Shave well, my man, for we do this for weave. Oh--the wig is at your own expense. Sorry. Already have a wig in mind Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eleven Posted August 26, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 Just now, LGR4GM said: Already have a wig in mind Good. Get ready to mount up tomorrow. We shall save weave! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted August 26, 2020 Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 Weave a safety net for Weave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PASabreFan Posted August 26, 2020 Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 I fried the baloney. I intend to keep the sandwiches warm overnight by stashing them in my armpits. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brawndo Posted August 26, 2020 Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 2 minutes ago, PASabreFan said: I fried the baloney. I intend to keep the sandwiches warm overnight by stashing them in my armpits. Wear Full PPE to pick up the sandwiches, check Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eleven Posted August 26, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 6 minutes ago, Zamboni said: Whew. Glad I wasn’t tasked with anything. Back to watching hockey.... Good job. Now, you do have a task. You have to update us with scores tomorrow. @Marvin, Sabres Fan has been added to the Task Force; the job is to receive scores from you and transmit them to us. Marvin, you are NOT to report to base. Stay where you are and @Gabrielor will provide you with instructions. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted August 26, 2020 Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 Just now, Eleven said: Good job. Now, you do have a task. You have to update us with scores tomorrow. @Marvin, Sabres Fan has been added to the Task Force; the job is to receive scores from you and transmit them to us. Marvin, you are NOT to report to base. Stay where you are and @Gabrielor will provide you with instructions. Roger. Wilco. Out. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eleven Posted August 26, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 (edited) 7 minutes ago, PASabreFan said: I fried the baloney. I intend to keep the sandwiches warm overnight by stashing them in my armpits. FFS. They weren't even supposed to be fried. Dismissed. We will need another sandwich-person. @Marvin, Sabres Fan can you find Arthur? He was pretty good with sandwiches. Edited August 26, 2020 by Eleven 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthEbriate Posted August 26, 2020 Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 18 minutes ago, Zamboni said: Whew. Glad I wasn’t tasked with anything. Back to watching hockey.... Hold your fire. There's no lifeforms. It must have short-circuited. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eleven Posted August 26, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 1 minute ago, DarthEbriate said: Hold your fire. There's no lifeforms. It must have short-circuited. I would have enlisted you, but you're evil. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tom webster Posted August 26, 2020 Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 I think I enjoyed this more then reading about a missed opportunity in the 2007 draft. 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That Aud Smell Posted August 26, 2020 Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North Buffalo Posted August 26, 2020 Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 Do you need a boat... dont have one but know how to commandeer them and run silently or if Weave is drunk it wont matter much. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabrielor Posted August 26, 2020 Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 8 hours ago, Eleven said: Good job. Now, you do have a task. You have to update us with scores tomorrow. @Marvin, Sabres Fan has been added to the Task Force; the job is to receive scores from you and transmit them to us. Marvin, you are NOT to report to base. Stay where you are and @Gabrielor will provide you with instructions. Sure. Instructions will be in the form of a google sheet containing everything I think the Sabres should do in a given offseason. Use how you see fit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cascade Youth Posted August 26, 2020 Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 Should I feel bad about being left out of this clique? I don’t. But none of you are invited to my barbecue just FYI. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattPie Posted August 26, 2020 Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 49 minutes ago, Cascade Youth said: Should I feel bad about being left out of this clique? I don’t. But none of you are invited to my barbecue just FYI. I wouldn't worry, I've been here for like 13 years and nearly 10000 posts and I'm not in. ? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nfreeman Posted August 26, 2020 Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 OK, one more job, but remember we agreed no more extraction missions after everything got FUBAR in Moose Jaw and @MattPie and @Cascade Youth lost their you-know-whats. I'm getting too old for this sheeee-iiiittt. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattPie Posted August 26, 2020 Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 5 minutes ago, nfreeman said: OK, one more job, but remember we agreed no more extraction missions after everything got FUBAR in Moose Jaw and @MattPie and @Cascade Youth lost their you-know-whats. I'm getting too old for this sheeee-iiiittt. I didn't lose anything, I just don't remember where I saved it. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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