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ThePhantomListWriter

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  1. From the Home Office in Brooklyn, Top Ten SabreSpace Secrets SDS Was Required, By Some Constitutional Provision or Something, To Tell nfreeman 10. carpandean is Drew Stafford, no, really, he is 9. Wilbur actually is a posting dog — biodork created him in her evil laboratory, and she is just biding her time until she unleashes him onto the Internet at large 8. In gregkash's avatar, and now it's mine, that's actually Greg on the right 7. Yuri Olesha blocked SwampD for "constantly messaging me asking me for 'whatever I'm smoking.'" 6. d4rk is josie, josie is d4rk, it's all one ###### person, for the love of God!!!! 5. Chz is a morbidly obese long distance truck driver whose penis hasn't been washed since the morning of the Dave Hannan goal — wait, we knew that 4. The Great Board Crash occurred when SDS' gerbil "J.P." chewed through a cable in his bedroom 3. Both in drunken stupors, Ghost of Dwight Drane and john wawrow used the board's PM feature to exchange photos of each other in nut bras 2. It is your imagination — no one from the Buffalo sports media, let alone any of the Sabres, has ever visited here (and neither have aliens visited earth; just get over it; we are alone) And the Number One SabreSpace Secret SDS Was Required, By Some Constitutional Provision or Something, To Tell nfreeman.............
  2. Top 10 As of Yet-Unannounced Additional Unpleasant Addendums to the Vanek-Moulson Trade 10. Sabres must use second-round pick on still another player whose last name is a major brand of beer 9. Islanders receive all net proceeds of "Shields vs. Snow, The Rematch" on PPV 8. Butch Goring gets to use Vanek's "Around the World" move on his wife (swirl, not twist, at the end) 7. Tartar sauce only approved condiment at First Niagara Center concession stands 6. Pegula to pay Wang $100 million cash or certain "wang photos" will be released to TMZ 5. Billy Smith gets to butt-end Ron Rolston — one time, but he's going to make it good 4. ..... Help.
  3. Good thing Wilbur licked me. On the face. I had dozed off for a few years there. Wait... who's President? From the Home Office in Buffalo, New York, The Top Ten Worries Santa Has About Certain Sabres Taking Rudolph's Place This Christmas Eve… Number 10... Entire payload will be dumped into the Coral Sea if Maxim Afinogenov stops on a dime over Rockhampton, Australia and makes a quick turn toward Papua New Guinea... Number 9... North Pole runway will have to be quadrupled in length to allow Dave Andreychuk enough time to achieve minimum speed for takeoff... Number 8... Nervous elves will bail out if they think the sleigh is actually being guided by Satan... Number 7... Two-hour delay if Alexei Zhitnik has to be booked for clubbing a little girl with a carrot left out for Cupid... Number 6... Over Iraq, Martin Biron's big mouth will attract the attention of Saddam Hussein's Republican Guard, evasive maneuver will be needed to avoid a ground-to-air missile... Number 5... Other reindeer will be spooked when Rob Ray inevitably head-butts Dasher... Number 4... Santa will lose his cookies if Dominik Hasek, trying to impress friends and family, turns the sleigh upside down over Pardubice, Czech Republic... Number 3... Every blessed kid in France will wake up if seven reindeer and 28 drunken elves start chanting, “STUUUUUUU! STUUUUUUU! STUUUUUUU!”... Number 2... His eyes fixed on Michael Peca's bubble butt, openly-gay Prancer will pay absolutely no attention to where he's going... And The Number 1 Worry Santa Has About Certain Sabres Taking Rudolph's Place This Christmas Eve... Dozens of preteen girls driving their sleighs recklessly behind Santa's in an attempt to meet that cutie Rhett Warrener
  4. That would be a great stat to figure out. Also, is this the latest game-winning goal in Sabres history? As for Miller... you wonder if Darcy and Lindy had some doubts when they kept Biron around. And the million dollar question from Meredith Vieira is whether keeping Biron has messed up Miller's head. Not exactly a vote of confidence.
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